But it felt so real.
The weight of him over me, the sound of his voice, the way he touched me. How do you imagine that level of detail? That perfect connection?
I touch my lips, still feeling the ghost of his kisses, and the uncertainty is almost worse than thinking he was dead. At least death was definitive. This… this is torture.
A soft knock at my door makes me jump. “Iris?” Elena’s voice, carefully neutral. “You awake? We need to talk.”
Ugh. I don’t know if I can face this right now.
“Could you give me a bit?” I call, needing time to pull myself together.
“Are you okay?” She’s concerned.
“Yeah… Just a bit of jet lag,” I tell her. “I’ll be out in an hour or so.”
“You sure?” She doesn’t sound convinced. I guess I can’t blame her. Our last interaction wasn’t great. I probably should apologize.
“Absolutely sure,” I say firmly. “I’d love to chat. There’s a lot to go over.”
There’s a pause. “Okay. I’ll be down in the common room when you’re ready.”
“Great. I’ll see you there.” I put some spark in my tone, even though I feel anything but sparky.
I can hear her take in a breath, as if to reply, then she seems to think better of it. Her footsteps fade down the hallway, and my shoulders slump. It’s like the fight’s gone out of me.
“Come on, Iris! Get it together!” I give myself a shake and grab clothes from my dresser with hands that tremble slightly. There’s no sense in putting off the inevitable. I have to deal with the hard realities of life again, eventually.
As I shower and then dress, I catch myself checking the mirror for signs of what happened. For proof written on my skin that would settle the question once and for all. But I look the same as always: tired, determined… alone.
Maybe that’s my answer right there.
I’m alone.
I walk to the window and look out again. The morning is crisp and clear, full of possibilities and dangers in equal measure. Somewhere out there, if he’s alive, Riven is fighting his own battles. Somewhere out there, Kieran is still trapped and waiting for rescue.
The missions haven’t changed, even if my world has turned completely upside down.
But as I close the window, one question echoes in my mind with every heartbeat:
Was he really there?
The uncertainty follows me out of the room like a shadow, and I know it will haunt me until I see him again.
IfI see him again.
Ifhe was ever really here at all.
Chapter 24
Riven
I like running. The sting of crisp air on my skin. The satisfying burn of muscles pushed to their limits. Lungs expanding in my chest as I take in deep, measured breaths. As exercise goes, it’s a damn sight better than being punched in the face repeatedly. Although I imagine Garrus would disagree.
I guess everything has its place.
I pull my dark baseball cap low on my forehead, the brim casting shadows that help obscure my features from the security cameras I’ve already picked up along this route. My black sweats do a good job of covering most of the cuts and bruises, though they’re beginning to fade now. It could be my imagination, but I’m sure it’s quicker than usual. Something about being around Iris has been… accelerating things. My dragon-touched healing, my reflexes, even my senses seem sharper.
Up ahead, a blonde ponytail sways in time with the motion of its owner. I pick up my pace and chew up the distance between us with ground-eating strides.