Page 70 of Ruinous Need
Bile rose in my throat.
I sprinted back along the hallway, into the first room I saw, and there he was.
Lev.
My best friend, covered in blood but still breathing in shallow gasps. He looked at me and I’ll never forget the way he tried to scramble away from me, but he was too weak to move.
His mouth opened, but all that came out was a bubble of blood.
I threw myself on him, trying to staunch the bleeding with my bare hands, but it was much, much too late.
As he died, he looked at me like I was a monster.I couldn’t even cry as the horror spread through my veins.
Someone dragged me up by my shoulders and a numb feeling spread inside me. I recognized the heavy scent of him like cigars and incense.
“You did well. A worthy heir and soldier.”
No apology.
No explanation.
He held a ceremonial dinner in my honor and announced that I would succeed him as Pakhan. And I vowed that day that I never would. Instead, I made it my mission to destroy his legacy.
The scene became something of a myth among the Bratva. People were split between whether I was a figure of terror or the perfect heir.
I knew exactly what I was: a monster.
The image of my father.
“Hey,” Lisette’s musical voice brings me back to the present. “I don’t even know what to say except I’m so, so sorry Viktor. Your father sounds like he was hideous.”
Her fingers trail lightly down the side of my face, over my jaw and down my neck. Running over the shape of my tattoos. Soothing me. Anchoring me to reality instead of the past. She buries her face against my chest and inhales deep.
I expected Lisette to run once I’ve finished my story. Once she saw me for what I was.
“Worse than hideous.”
Her face is hidden but she clings to me tighter than ever.
When she looks up at me, resting her chin against my chest, her sea-green eyes are sparkling with tears.
“That’s a monstrous story, Viktor. But it doesn’t makeyoua monster.”
I tighten my jaw. “There are some things we can never be forgiven for.” I’m back in the past right now, running through the memories like it’s an old photo album.
Lisette brings me back to the present, running her mouth over my jaw.
“No. This is who you are. Not whatever twisted mission your father gave you when you were a teenager.”
CHAPTER 28
LISETTE
THE MOOD HAS been heavy ever since Viktor told me about Lev.
Partially because I can’t stop thinking about it. The tension in Viktor’s face unwound a little as he shared those horrors with me, but I don’t think he’s talked about it nearly enough. He says he wants to sharemysuffering, but I wonder how much of his own he’s still hiding from me.
I feel bad for sending him into this brooding state. He’s been so quiet and withdrawn it’s like he’s living in the past.
