Page 31 of Beautifully Shattered
Easing back just enough to see my face, he nods.
“I know thingsaren’t the same. Your life has changed forever. But maybe… hopefully, we can find a new normal. Together.”
I gulp.
I want that. I want him. But every time I think of Bobbi, I can’t see how I’m meant to go on.
So, I just nod.
Not because I’m trying to reassure him… I can’t. But because I simply don’t know what my future even looks like.
Right now, there’s nothing but darkness. And it’s hard to see a way out of that.
But here with him, there’s a spark of something I’m going to hold on to.
I have to do that.
For him.
For Bobbi.
For myself.
Carrying me across the grass in silence, Ringo takes me back inside and up to the bedroom. I reluctantly release my grip around his neck as he lowers me to the bed, watching his large frame move quietly through the room as he retrieves a towel.
His eyes meet mine as he kneels at the edge of the bed, before drying and cleaning my feet like I’m something sacred, and once he’s done, he helps me slip under the blankets.
I watch him in the faint glow coming from the night light in the corner, my eyes transfixed on him as he toes off his boots and strips down to his boxers before crawling in beside me.
I’m nervous as he settles in, worried he might want more. That he might want sex.
I just gave birth six days ago, and from the little Idoknow, I have to wait at least six weeks for that.
Will he feel like I’m pushing him away again if I refuse him?
I don’t want him to feel rejected, but thankfully, he doesn’t try anything. He simply pulls me to his side, tucking me close, and wraps his arms around me.
Even though my heart mostly hurts like a dagger keeps stabbing it over and over, when I’m with him like this, it doesn’t hurt quite as much.
“Cam?” I whisper as we lie tangled together, our foreheads nearly touching.
“Angel?”
“I know Bobbi is gone… but it doesn’t feel real.” I glance up, finding his eyes already on me. “I still feel her…” I take his hand and press it to my heart. “Right here.”
“Because that’s where she lives now.” He gently strokes the valley between my breasts where I held my daughter just days ago. “She will always be there. No matter where she is, she will always be wrapped in your love.”
“Yeah,” I breathe. “I guess you're right.” I leave my hand over his as he strokes the skin over my heart. “Cam?”
“Yeah, Angel?”
“My tits really hurt.”
He stiffens, and I glance back up at him, catching the look of mild panic in his eyes.
“My milk has come in… and I don’t know what I’m meant to do about it.”
“Oh.” He shifts slowly, pulling his hand away. “Fuck… I don’t really know about any of that stuff.”
