Page 125 of My Lovely Tragedy
“But youmade me,” I cry out, withdrawing. Needing to put distance between us, my feet drag across the wood floor, cold and unyielding.Strong.
Everything I’m not.
But it keeps me upright as I back away from Tobias. From his too large body spread out over the floor. With his long legs and his long arms. His crazy, curly hair and circular glasses. Round face and long neck… shimmering from the sun’s rays dancing off gold.
It bathes him in an ethereal aura. One that steals my breath and knocks me over.
I stumble into the bench of the piano. My left hand slams against the extended lid, and for a split second, I hate that it’s closed. I want my anger to be felt through the keys. Through the discordant harsh echo as my palm slams down onto them. Just as disturbing and uncertain as I am.
Tobias has flipped my entire fucking world on its axisagain.But worse than that, I think, is his fucking detachment.
His…face.Just so fucking stoic. Not giving meanything.
Like he never cared at all.
F-fuck.I gasp, slamming my hand against my sternum, pressing in,againstthe beat. Trying to keep it contained.
My vision tunnels, then blurs completely. Clouded and distorted as blood rushes through my ears. I shiver, teeth chattering as tremors wrack through me. I coil my arms around my waist, hating the ease in which they move, free and weightless andwrong.
“Darling.” The sound comes through on a dissonant wave. My limbs are locked tight, filled with a tension that bleeds through every modicum of adrenaline my body sends out, attacking its very own self-preservation.
“Brooklyn.” Harsher. Less obscured. I fall back into something solid. Something warm andknown.
Arms wrap around my own, flesh over flesh, gentle over my scabs, until fingers entwine. My focus draws to the point of contact once more, to the familiar heat and comfort.
Tobias buries his nose in my hair, and each exhale arises a fresh wave of goosebumps. And as much as I hate myself for it, I melt into his body. Because I know he’ll keep me up.
He’ll keep me away from the darkness, even during the times he drowns me in it.
“You kept me here. Made me wanna stay with you, and now you’re… you’re saying I have to go.” My voice sounds mechanical.Detached.
“Yes.” A soft whisper. But resolute.
I scoff, but the sound is wet and doesn’t hold the bite Ifeel inside.“Why?” I ask, needing to know now more than ever.The truth.
Tobias holds his breath. I feel the tense stretch against my back. Thethump thump thumpof his heart slowing.His fingers tapping in their normal, odd rhythm against the back of my hand. “Because I wanted you. To know you. To feel you.To see you.”
I blink, feeling the soft graze of a tear as it slips down my nose as my gaze drops to where his hands hold mine. “And now that you have… you don’t want me anymore?” My voice cracks—a high-pitched, clogging noise that would normally make my face flame with embarrassment, but now… now it doesn’t matter.
Nothing does, really.
Tobias finally releases the tension in his chest, and I fall lax against him once more. Then, his lips find rest against my jugular. Teeth bared as they scrape. A threat.A promise.
“It is not the obscure possibility of me not wanting you. I shall want for you,ache for you,endlessly. Until my last breath, though I do believe even that is not enough to wane the feeling.” His words spark a fresh wave of goosebumps. And theyhurt.
“Then… then fuckingwhat?Because nothing has made any fucking sense since I opened my eyes. I’m pretty sure I woke up in some alternate universe or something.” I’m scrambling for purchase—anywhere and everywhere—for some fucking piece toclickand make sense of all this… nonsense.
Tobias chuckles, sending a deep vibration from his body and into mine. But it’s forced. And harsh. And I hate it.
Nothing about this is fucking funny.
“I wish that were the case. But it is not. It is the simple fact you do not belong here with me.” Before I can cut him off, he continues with a tight squeeze to my fingers. “And I am more than well aware of the fact I kept you here, darling. You needn’t remind me.”
I roll my head away from his mouth to drop it onto his shoulder. To sink my nose againsthispulse. “Please quit being confusing and justtalk,” I beg. Plead.Cry.
Without pause, Tobias fuckingobliterates me.“You need to go home. You cannot stay. It’s time for you to leave me now.”
“I fucking hate you.”
