Page 94 of Fragmented Illusions
What if this all goes wrong? What if we get caught? What if she doesn’t want to come with us?
What if, what if, what if.
I force a deep breath and swallow hard. I clench my jaw and close my eyes, compelling myself to let all of it go—all of it except for my confidence and determination.
I fucking kill people and I have never been caught—nor have I even come close to it. I can find Fallon and get her out of here.
Ihaveto get her out of here. I’ve never been in one of these places myself, but I can only imagine what they are like if what our mother did to us is any indication.
“Sol!” Spencer’s whispered yell snaps me from my reverie, and I pull my gaze over to him. He’s against the wall, breathing hard with wide eyes. “Someone’s coming!”
Fuck. I shake my head, dispersing the fog and roam my eyes over the screen until they lock on the word “room.”
That doesn’t sound good.
The rapid click-clacking of shoes against the floor kicks my ass into gear and I hit the button on the back of the computer to power it off and dash to Spencer. We suck ourselves against the wall as someone dressed in all white comes into view—along with two other people.
“Is that…?” Spencer whispers directly into my ear. His hot breath causes gooseflesh to break out and I hold back my shiver. I’m breathing hard because of the adrenaline pumping through my veins. It magnifies the sound of my blood pumping in my veins, making everything around me feel much more palpable.
“I think so,” I answer him as a doctor—I presume—and Fallon’s parents talk secretly. Lily Kessler has her arms crossed over her torso and George has his arm around her waist, holding her to him. The doctor is holding a file in his hand, thick with paperwork, as he speaks to them, but I can’t hear any of their words.
“I can’t hear them.” Spencer sounds annoyed and I couldn’t agree more. I can’t fucking hear them either, but it doesn’t matter. We better act now while they’re distracted.
“Let’s go.” I jerk my head to the side and we both shuffle silently along the wall before we make it to the end, leading us down another hall that ends with a singular, white locked door—a door Fallon is on the other side of.
A sudden stillness settles around us. It’s so quiet, I can hear my blood rushing in my ears, and Spencer’s hushed breathing. The silence rings loud despite the noises attempting to shatter it—almost as if it’s impenetrable.
There is something ominous about this place. Familiar.
“Death,” Spencer and I say at the same time.
This place tastes of death and despair—two things I know intimately.
Spencer’s hand wraps around my own and I flinch at the unexpected contact. My eyes dart to his and he gives me a weak smile. He’s fucking terrified—that much is clear. He’s worried about Fallon being in a place like this. I don’t blame him, truly. Not when I recognize the aura this place is reeking of. None of it is good for our pretty girl.
I don’t know when she became something much more than she was. It started with the both of us being completely enraptured by her beauty and strength. So much so we went against everything we fucking do just to have a little more of her.
I never planned on it being more though. That’s the worst part. I planned on killing her in the end. That wasalwaysthe plan—until it wasn’t.
She turned the tables somehow, and now? Now I think I love her. Because that is what this has to be. This need. This craving. This overwhelming fear mixed with anger. I don’t know what else it could possibly be.
I’m new to these feelings; in a way their meaning still bewilders me. I have only ever felt something toward Spencer, and I have been with him since the beginning, so my feelings for him are all I have ever known. I simply thought that was normal—or at least it was for me.
Every person I ever come into contact with was met with an impenetrable steel wall. Not because I was incapable of caring, per say, but because I simply couldn’t be bothered. Every single human on this earth is a waste of space.
We are all bodies wasting resources until the day we die and then leave a stain in our wake.
We are insignificant. Though, some more than others, Spencer and I merely help speed up the process.
I don’t know if what I feel for Spencer, or for Fallon, is love. It could be an obsession for all I know. But what I do know is I never want to be without them. As painful as this feeling is; as much as it twists my heart inside of my ribs, pulsing unbearably, I wouldn’t change it.
For the first time since I was locked in that closest, starving and literally dying of thirst, I want to feel. Because I want Spencer. And I want Fallon. I want the three of us together, doing what we do best—breathing in the death we bring.
I swipe my card through the reader, and when it beeps red, my heart sinks. Hopelessness creeps in, sucking me down deep, fucking drowning me.
“Wait. Let me try mine.” Spencer pulls his card out and apprehensively swipes it through the reader.
One second, two…
