Page 63 of Fragmented Illusions
I shoot up in bed, my heart thundering but my brain instantly free from the fog of sleep.
“Sol.”That voice—Creepy’s voice—rings loud and clear through my head, the memory of last night more potent than ever.
He said Sol as he rubbed his rock-hard length against me. Then Silent’s arms tightened so painfully good around us; as if he was trying to force us three to become one entity.
Sol.
That must be Silent’s name. Or a nickname.Somethingimportant if that’s what Creepy blurted out. And now I remember it, I can’t forget it. But I know if I go digging, they’ll find out and make me hurt for it.
You want them to make you hurt.
Do it.
“I can’t,” I tell It. I sigh and flop back in bed, my hair flying around me as I hit the pillow. My heart still races in my chest, but my thoughts remain surprisingly focused on a name and a vision.
A vision a woman is the star of—a verydeadwoman.
I’m lying alone in my bed in the middle of the night… My thoughts can’t hurt anyone—and using that excuse, I imagine things I would never dare even think of in the light of day until my lids droop closed. Sol, Creepy, and I with that woman in the cabin. Blood. So… Much… Blood…
The sound of the snow crunching under Nat’s boot as she turns to step slightly in front of me forces my gaze back to hers.
“What?” I ask, only catching the tail end of the conversation.
“Do you wanna do something with me after class?” She tilts her head to the side in question and images of Creepy filter through my mind as she mimics his signature pose. It’s so very… creepy, but so hot.
There is something definitely wrong with me.
You already knew that.
“Fal?” Natalie repeats, and I shake my head, forcing him from my mind.
I can’t think about them right now.
You never stopped.
“Um, yeah. Sure,” I tell Nat. I’m sure she senses my hesitance, but if she does, she doesn’t comment on it.
I know out of all the girls, she is the one who has noticed something different with me lately. She’s always intuitive and, honestly, the one I’m closest to. I feel a deep connection with her, and it hurts to feel it slipping away, so maybe doing something with her will help force those fucking men from my mind.
Help me return to normal.
You’ve never been normal, Fallon.
And you don’t want to be.
You’re playing yourself if you think you can pretend it never happened.
You have now envisioned a life with them.
A life where you can be free.
There is no going back from that.
“Sweet!” she exclaims excitedly. Her smile is wide and genuine, and I can’t help the sinking feeling in my gut. Guilt.
I’ve been a terrible friend when she is always the one trying to help me. She may not know my secrets, but she doesn’t question my strange behavior. She checks in with me every day to make sure I’m okay. She doesn’t push me in anyway, just lets me know she’s here for me, no matter what.
“What did you have in mind?” I ask her, keeping my tone soft and meek as we trudge toward school again. The wind is blowing, making the early afternoon forty-degree temperature feel much cooler as it seeps inside of my thick jacket. I wrap my arms around my middle as I listen to the crunch of our boots.
