Page 69 of Monster
At my words, he glances up at me with a look I truly can’t read. My gaze is drawn to a bottle on his nightstand and my brow raises as I register what it probably is. Dominik follows my gaze, and his jaw tightens. He glares at me.“That’s none of your business.”
“Yeah, I know. But I’m pretty sure Essa wouldn’t want you to do that shit.” I shrug. “Not my problem, though.”
I turn around and exit his room, walking toward the front door. I hear Dominik following behind me and when I reach the front door, I turn around and meet his gaze.
“Leave it alone, kid. You’re out of your fucking league. You don’t want to piss me off again. I held back this time because of Essa, but next time I won’t. So don’t fucking push me.” I see his head tilt with a slight nod, and I return it. I step out and shut his door behind me.
The hallway in front me is dim, barely lit with the flickering bulb in the middle of the hallway, which actually works in my favor again, as well as it being in the middle of the fucking night. I’m sure I look rough with blood covering my face, but there aren’t many options for me to get back to my car.
I push open the front door to the apartment building and take a deep breath as the cool air hits my skin. The frigid temperature feels great against my overheated skin, and I walk quickly to my car, desperate for a smoke. I jump in and start the car before rolling down my window. I light a cigarette and take a huge inhale of nicotine.
My eyes automatically glance up to where I know Dominik’s apartment to be. I don’t see anything, but I know he’s watching. He’s pissed, confused, hurt. And I can’t fucking blame him, but he needed to know to stop.
He’s been calling the Le Grande police station every fucking day about Essa. Thankfully Mike knows people there so he has been dealing with it, but it was still getting on my fucking nerves.
“I Don’t Care” by Apocalyptica starts playing and I can’t help the scoff that leaves my lips. I fucking wish I didn’t care, but the fact of the matter is, Dominik is up there still fuckingbreathingbecause of how much I care. Absolutely everything about me has gone to shit because of how much I care.
Fuck caring and fuck Essa.
* * *
I takea right turn and begin driving down the long driveway leading to my house. Trees surround me on either side and the sun’s rays are just barely streaming through the gaps between the trees. My entire body aches with exhaustion, but my brain is so fucking wired, I know I won’t be able to sleep once I’m home.
My face actually fucking hurts and I know it’s because Dominik got some good hits in. I did not expect him to be able to hold his own, but the fucking kid surprised me. After I got back out to my car and smoked two cigarettes back-to-back, I pulled my shirt off and used it to wipe the blood off my face. I know it didn’t do the best job and there is still blood on me—I can feel it tugging against my skin where it dried—but it works until I can fucking shower.
I pull up in front of the house and shut the car off. I grab my phone off the passenger seat and the clock tells me it’s 6:53 AM. I crack my neck as I lift my ass off of the seat to shove my phone in my pocket. I plop back down and lean my head back against the headrest and close my eyes.
What the fuck am I going to do? Everything—and I mean everything—is so complicated. What the fuck am I supposed to do when the monster inside of my head is telling me to fucking kill her. To shove my knife into her fucking chest and to finally be rid of every single ounce of pain she has caused me.
But then my heart is screaming at me not to. I can’t do that to her, or to myself. We have already been through so much and neither one of us deserves that kind of pain.
My body, on the other hand, is the worst motherfucker of them all. My body wants every piece of her. Dead or alive.
Okay, that’s a little fucked.
I’m into some kinky ass shit, but that thought has me shaking my head, disturbed by my thoughts. I hear the front door slam shut. My gaze snaps to the front door and I watch as Leo walks down the steps, striding towards me with an expression I can’t read on his face.
I take a deep breath to steel myself for the shit show that is now my life and get out of the car, shutting the door behind me. Leo doesn’t say a word as he steps up to me and I grit my teeth as I wait impatiently. I don’t have a good feeling about this, and I swear to fucking God, if he says one damn thing along to lines of “Essa” and “gone,” I might just fucking kill him.
Leo stands next to me and leans against my car. He reaches inside of his back jean pocket and pulls out a pack of Marlboros. He takes one out and lights it, taking a deep inhale and shaking his head. He keeps the cigarette between his teeth as he turns his head to look at me and once we make eye contact, he rolls his eyes dramatically and takes another drag.
I sigh a deep breath of relief before a laugh bursts through my lips and I double over from the force of it.
“Shut the fuck up, man,” Leo grumbles and it only serves to make me laugh harder.
“I—” I stop to laugh again. Once I catch my breath, I ask, “How’d it go?” Leo’s eyes bug out of his head at my question, and I crack up again.
“Oh, you know,” he says, all casual. “It went fucking great until I went to free her from her fucking bed, and you know, she almost bit my fucking arm off,” he scoffs, and I snort. Leo’s gaze swings my way as he takes another drag and huffs.
“I’m not even fucking kidding you. That bitch is crazy.” He jerks his thumb in the direction of the house and I follow the direction of it. I stare at the house for a minute before glancing back at him.
“Yeah, I fucking know.”
Leo murmurs a low, “mhm” in response and the conversation quickly dies.
I’m not going to lie, I’m completely avoiding going back inside, which is why I say, “Not gonna ask me what happened?” I turn my head to the right to glance at Leo and I see him shaking his head.
“Nope.”He pops the P.
