Page 4 of Monster
Vincent
Six months ago
Lights flashin front of my eyes and I feel movement all around me, as if I’m floating through the air. I hear muffled voices shouting from every direction and hands all over me, but I can’t focus on a thing, nor move a muscle. I’m frozen where I lie, something cold and hard beneath me.
Pain is all I feel and it’s all I can think about other than one other thing—Essa.
I keep her in the forefront of my mind as things become darker. More bleak.
I wonder if this is what death feels like, the nothingness. The chill surrounding me. But it only reminds me of my little Creep more. She was always so cold—the complete opposite of me and as much as I hate her, I have to admit to myself that in this very moment, where death hangs right over my head ready to steal my soul and take me straight to hell where I’ve always belonged, my need for her is what keeps me holding on by a thread as things gradually darken around me.
* * *
As I rousefrom the darkness, one voice in particular catches my attention. I can’t focus on it and it’s frustrating me. I attempt to open my eyes, but they barely flutter, giving me only a glimpse of light before closing again.
“Vin! Can you hear me?” a voice shouts right next to me, and I hear it clear as day.
Leo.
I try to peel my eyes open again and grit my teeth when they finally obey and the light shines brighter than ever, causing my eyes to water from the pain.
Everything fucking hurts.
When my eyes focus, I zero in on Leo standing next to me, looking frantic and crazed. Confusion clouds my mind as I try to remember what the fuck happened.
Why fuck is he here, staring like that? Where am I? What’s going on?
I wrack my brain, but come up empty, but I don’t have to wonder for long.
“Man, what the hell happened?” Leo asks before continuing, “I called you over ten motherfucking times before I drove my ass to your house to see what was up since you’ve never missed a phone call from me. I knocked and you didn’t answer and me being the nosey fucker I am, I used my key and went searching for you. And man, I fucking found you bleeding out in your damn bed from a fucking gunshot wound! What the fuck, Vin!” he shouts, and his voice rings even fucking louder in my head, but I can hear the worry lacing his tone and his features are tight with concern—concern for me.
I cough, attempting to sit up, but bellow out at the pain that shoots up my arm. “Fuck!”
“Please be careful, sir. You lost over thirty percent of your blood volume and you had surgery a few hours ago to remove the bullet. We had to give you quite a few transfusions.” I notice a nurse standing next to me, fear radiating off her in waves.
Hm, guess Leo gave her the fucking introduction then.
We may not be the biggest crime family around here, but people sure know who the fuck we are, and they know not to fuck with us. We pay enough cops, doctors, judges, politicians—you fucking name it—to do our bidding or to do as we ask with no fucking questions. Which is what we need right now, no one asking questions.
“Thanks for everything, love,” Leo murmurs. She glances at him with a small smile gracing her plump lips, some of the fear she was showing diminishing, before quietly exiting the room and leaving us to our conversation.
What?
I quirk my brow at him in question, but he rolls his eyes and moves his hand in a circle, indicating for me to spit whatever it is I have to say, the fuck out. “Anyway,” I cough, “I don’t even know what to fucking say, man. I fucked up. Big time.” I lower my head in shame. The last thing I ever wanted to do was disappoint Leo. He may technically be my boss, but he’s been like a father to me for a good part of my life now. As I keep my gaze on the floor to avoid Leo’s eyes, my head gets knocked further down when Leo’s hand smacks me upside my head.
“What the fuck, man!” I shout as I jerk my head back up. Leo’s smirking at me as he crosses his arms around his broad chest. I may be taller than him, but Leo is fucking built. He’s got muscles for days and tattoos covering literally every inch of his skin. Well, I assume it’s every inch, but I haven’t seen him naked before. His body may make him seem like a mean motherfucker, but he’s quite the opposite—outside of business.
“If you’re going to act like a dumbass, I’ll do dumbass shit like smack you upside your head. What the hell were you thinking, Vin? It was that damn girl, wasn’t it?” he inquires. I shake my head, not wanting to tell him what happened, but knowing I have to. This doesn’t only affect me. This affects him and the business too. Especially because he has to throw his weight around to keep the cops and doctors off our backs.
“You might want to sit down, across the fucking room, because what I’m about to tell you is going to piss you off and if you smack me again, I might break your fucking arm.” I glare at him but tip the corner of my lips up with a smirk. He laughs, a full belly laugh as he drags a chair out from the corner and takes a seat, a solid ten feet from me.
I chuckle, but quickly turn serious as memories of Essa fill my mind. My right shoulder seems to ache even more with her in mind, and I grit my teeth as I scooch my ass into a somewhat sitting position, already feeling less vulnerable. I keep my eyes down as I fill Leo in on everything. I think he knew I had shit going on, but I never told him about Essa. Not one detail, and as I sit here telling him everything, I glance over and see the shock and the fucking hurt written all over his face.
The shock was inevitable because, well, it’s me, but the hurt is what kills me. I know I should have told him about her and what I was doing, but I enjoyed her being my dirty little secret. Not only that, but it started out as something so small and unimportant, it wasn’t anything I needed to bother him with. But when it became more, whenshebecame more, I know I should’ve told him. He deserves everything, if not my fucking honesty.
After I finish spewing all the bullshit my life has become these last few months, I finally bring my gaze back to Leo. He’s leaning forward with his arms resting on his knees and his index finger is rubbing back and forth across his bottom lip, seemingly lost in his thoughts.
I don’t say a word as I let him process it all. I know what I told him is probably a lot for him to take in. Hell, it’s a lot for me and I’m the fuckin’ one who went through it all. My eyelids grow heavy the longer I sit, the act alone wearing me out. I allow them to fall shut and let sleep overtake me, grateful for the reprieve from reality.
