Page 3 of Monster
Dominik
Six months ago
Fuck.That was one of the most painful things I’ve ever had to witness, and I never want to again, but I know I won’t be that lucky. I know when Essa wakes up, it’s going to happen all over again. And will probably continue to happen for a while.
I don’t really know the girl, but ever since I saved her from the mangled car two weeks ago, I’ve felt connected to her. Lonely souls recognize one another. She’s been unconscious the entire time I’ve been here. The doctors won’t tell me much about what is going on with her, but the nurses do—probably because they feel bad for me or something. I merely want to know what is going on and I don’t give a shit if people feel pity for me or not.
That’s how everyone has looked at me for years now, so I’m used to it. I guess that’s what happens when the entire town knows my father murdered my mother and her lover in cold blood. He had caught them fucking in their bed before he turned the gun on himself and blew his brains across the room.
The joys of living in a small town—everyone knows your goddamn business.
Annoyed with myself, I get up from my chair and pace the room like I have every day, waiting for her to wake up. I keep asking myself why I have stayed by her side, whether it be pity because she lost her sister, or something else. I keep circling back around to pity because why the hell else would I drop everything in my life at the drop of a dime for a stranger? But when I try to get the idea of it in my head, guilt consumes me. I know that’s not the reason. It’s something much more, but I don’t have the strength to delve into the reason right now, or probably ever.
I swing my head over when the door slides open and a nurse—Joyce—steps through.
“Hey kiddo, how you holding up?” she asks as she moves to Essa’s side to do the routine checks.
“Could be better, but how’s she doing?” I nod my head in Essa’s direction. She glances back at me quickly before going back to typing on the computer.
“Physically speaking, she’s doing better than we all thought. We didn’t expect her to wake up for a while yet, so the fact she did is miraculous. Mentally on the other hand…” She trails off as she swipes her hand across Essa’s forehead, moving a piece of hair which was covering her eye. The gesture is sweet, and it makes my heart squeeze, forcing me to move my hand to my chest to rub the ache away.
Joyce, and every other person in this place, can see how much pain Essa is in and we all feel for her. I think I can understand better than most what she’s going through. I don’t have any siblings, but I did lose both of my parents. And no matter the reason of how brutally I lost them, it all hurts the same.
Joyce coughs lightly as if she’s reminding herself to be professional as she moves back to the computer, inputting numbers before closing out and pushing it away, back into its compartment.
“Can I do anything to help her?” I plead as she walks up to me. She takes both of my hands in hers and glances up at me, as her short frame demands.
“Honey, I don’t think there’s much any of us can do for her other than to help her heal physically. She’s hurtin’ real bad. She lost her sister and more. The only family she had as far as we know and she seems like a real sad girl, anyway. I’m not sure if this is something she will ever recover from.” She pats both of my hands before hurrying from the room, the door clicking closed behind her.
I let my arms fall limp to my sides, dejection filling me, and I subconsciously scratch at the junction of my forearm and bicep, need and desperation seeping into my veins with toxic force. Essa’s recovery has kept my mind busy, but now that she’s awake and in fuckingpain,I want nothing more than to take it all away.
For her or myself, I’m not sure.
