Page 27 of Monster
Vincent
Five months ago
Why the fuckdo I feel this immense guilt festering in the pit of my stomach? It feels like I swallowed a gallon of gasoline and I’m set to explode at any minute. Flashbacks of that girl's mouth on me run through my mind and the feeling only intensifies.
Why the hell do I feel like this?
What is wrong with me?
Love.
That one little word rings out in my head and pings around. The sheer volume of it is deafening.
Love.
What the fuck even is love?
Love is nonexistent.
But if itdidexist, it would be parasitic.
It would consume you from the inside out until there was nothing left of the real you, but instead this person with different intentions, now changed because of a singular feeling which is most often not reciprocated in the same way.
Love is a fucking joke.
But what if it’s what I feel for Essa?
Fuck no it’s not.
Fuck everything. I don’t want to be thinking about any of this right now, but I can’t help it. That girl’s saliva is still on my thigh, slowly drying against my skin as I sit on the edge of my bed, and it only serves to piss me off more. I thought coming in her mouth would rid me of my thoughts of Essa, but man was I fucking wrong.
No matter what I do, my baby doll is stuck in my fucking head. Every little thing I do reminds me of her. Speaking of…
I dig my phone out of my pocket and press call on Mike’s number. After three rings, he picks up with a gruff, “I still don’t have anything,” before I even say a word.
“Well, what the fuck am I even paying you for if you can’t even find one fucking girl? How the fuck are you even a goddamn detective. Isn’t it your fucking job tofindpeople?” I snap. I’m getting real tired of this bullshit. I need Essa back—now.
I’m fucking losing it.
“I’m trying everything I can, but there haven’t been any hits on her name, and I don’t know the first place to look becauseyoudon’t even know where she could be. Not knowing a damn thing makes my job a little difficult, Vincent,” he says with a sigh, and it feels like he’s chastising me.
I grit my teeth to keep from snapping at him. “I like how this is my fault, when it’syourfucking job. Find her soon, Mike. Because I can promise you, you don’t want my anger directed at you if you don’t.” I hang up without waiting for his response.
Anger churns through me, the voice inside of my head bellowing and growing louder every fucking day.
I lay back on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. My gaze moves to the metal bars across the top of my bed frame, and I see Essa tied to them. A rope wrapped around her delicate little throat, squeezing the fucking life out of her. Her pale skin turning the brightest red from the blood rushing to her head. Her thin body bled so beautifully for me. The fucking taste of her blood…
I groan as blood rushes to my cock from the memories. I move my hand down my body, my fingertips lightly tracing the skin of my abdomen, trailing across every ridge of my abs, picturing Essa’s fingers instead of my own. I push my hand into the front of my jeans, not bothering to unbutton them and the second my hand makes contact with the tip of my cock, a shudder wracks through me. I use my injured arm to release the button to give myself more room, now desperate.
I wrap my fist around myself with a tight grip, so tight it’s bordering on painful, but it only makes me harder. Pain and pleasure make me think of my little baby doll and I close my eyes to picture her better in my mind.
Her wrapping her small hands around me, making me appear even bigger than the nine inches I am. Her shyness the first time she took me into her mouth. The way she moaned when I hit the back of her throat. Her gagging and the tears running down her face as she choked on my cock…
I fuck my hand, thrusting my hips up off of the mattress. I squeeze myself harder and groan at the pain that comes because of it. Pain that brings me to the edge all too fucking soon.
“Fuucckk,” I groan as my release hits me. I come so fucking hard, I think I black out for a minute. My cum jets onto my stomach in hot spurts and I slow the movement of my hand before stopping all together. I drop my cock and it smacks against my abs. I hesitantly run my index finger through my cum before bringing it to my lips. I push my finger into my mouth and suck, thinking of Essa doing this. The salty tang of myself hits my tongue, but I don’t hate it. All I can think of is Essa’s mouth wrapped around my finger and sucking my cum off of it, enjoying it too.
My cock twitches again and I groan and roll my eyes. I came twice in the last thirty minutes, but it’s not enough. I need my baby doll here to help curb this insatiable hunger I have. But then again, if she were fucking here, I wouldn’t feel like this because I could stick my dick in any one of her fucking holes whenever I felt like it.
Speaking of, that reminds me I still haven’t been able to fuck her in the ass. Which will happen once I get her little ass back home—where she fucking belongs. But first, before I can even think about dragging her back here, I have to take care of her parents. I know once they are no longer in the picture, bringing her back will be much easier.Hopefully.
