Page 19 of Monster
Dominik
Six months ago
Joyce findsme outside smoking a cigarette and gives me a stern glare. I guiltily stub it out and flick it across the grass. She takes a seat next to me on the bench and we both stare out ahead at the courtyard. The rain cleared up a little bit ago but left everything dripping wet and the smell of rain is still heavy in the air.
I lean forward and rest my arms on my thighs as I turn my head to the right to glance at Joyce. My black curls fall in front of my eyes, and I brush them out of the way only for them to fall right back to where they were. She huffs out a laugh from my gesture, making me laugh lightly too.
“You need a haircut,” she says as she continues to giggle.
I nod my head in agreement, but my smile quickly falls. I take a deep breath and try to push the memories of Essa bleeding out of my head, but it doesn’t work. “How’s she doing?” I ask.
“She’s all right, honey. She’s in the shower right now, but I came down here to talk to you.” I shoot up from the bench, about to rush upstairs when Joyce yanks my arm and forces me to sit back down.
“Do you really think I would leave her alone?” She quirks her brow at me, and I sigh.
“No, I guess not. I’m just worried about her.”
“I know you are, honey, but she will be okay. I promise.” She leans across the bench to pat my hand which is gripping the edge of the wooden bench seat before pulling away.
“Anyways. I wanted to talk to you about what we talked about, about a week-ish ago.” She focuses on me and claps her hands in front of her.
“What about it?” I ask cautiously.
“I think we need to talk to Essa about it.”
“Um… Are you sure she’s ready for it? ‘Cause I’m not so sure.” A week or so ago, while Essa was still unconscious, Joyce and I were talking, and I was thinking out loud about Essa going to a mental health facility. I was only spit-balling because obviously Essa hadn’t woken up and we didn’t know how she was going to be, but it was simply an idea at the time.
I offered to pay for everything, like I’m paying for her hospital bills right now. I’ve got enough money, so it only seemed right I pay for it all. But now that Joyce is talking about telling Essa she should go to a mental health facility, I’m questioning it.
“You know she is probably going to freak out, right?” I ask her. My body is still slumped over, and my gaze is locked on the concrete below me. After everything Essa has gone through, I don’t want to make it worse by pushing her to do something she doesn’t want to do.
“She will,” Joyce states.
“‘She will’. Seriously? That’s it? Just a ‘she will’?”
“Yep,” she says as she stands up. I peer up at her and she narrows her eyes at me. “Come on, let’s go.” I roll my eyes but stand and together we both make our way to the hospital's main doors.
“You know smoking is bad for you, right?” she chastises me.
“Could be worse,” I quip back, my tone gruff, halting any conversation over the matter.
* * *
“You want towhat?”Essa shouts, turning her back to the window to glare at us, well Joyce and the doctor, not me. Because ever since the three of us walked into the room, Essa hasn’t spared a single glance my way. It bothers me but I try not to let it show.
“I know it’s not something you want to hear right now, but we’re only letting you know it’s an option,” the doctor tries to placate Essa.
“And if you’re worried about money, that’s not—” I’m cut off by the hard glare Essa shoots my way. Her pale, icy green stare locks onto me for the first time in hours and I feel a heat swirl in the pit of my stomach, shooting straight to my dick.
Uh. Wrong time and definitely the wrong place.
When she looks away with a roll of her eyes to go back to arguing with the doctor, I subtly reach down and attempt to rearrange myself through my sweatpants, but the second my fingers make contact with the crotch of my pants, Essa’s eyes shoot to me and zero in on my movement. I freeze and she narrows her eyes even more. My pulse speeds up and I feel more blood rushing to parts of me it shouldn’t be rushing to.
I shouldn’t be feeling like this, not right now. It’s so messed up; I can’t even fathom it. I lay my palm across my lap and bring my right leg up and cross it over my left knee, blocking her view of my entire waistline. That seems to do the trick and she pulls her gaze away from me.
I heave a sigh of relief when her eyes leave mine. I know it’s been weeks since I’ve come, but that is no fucking excuse for what happened. I feel beyond disgusted with myself, getting fucking hard when we’re talking about putting a girl I genuinely care for into a damn mental hospital.
Essa’s words snap me back into the now. “Can we talk about this later? I want to speak to Dominik for a bit,” she asks the doctor and Joyce, though her tone portrays it isn’t up for discussion. Joyce nods her head and gives Essa a hug she awkwardly returns before they both exit the room. I cringe as the door slides shut, clicking quietly as it latches. I keep my gaze locked on my lap, pleading with my cock to calm the hell down, but I swear it only makes me harder, the fear of Essa knowing.
Speaking of Essa… When I glance up again, she’s standing right in front of me, staring at my crotch, the bulge between my legs clear as day with her birds-eye view.
“Uh.” I fake a cough. “Excuse me.” I stand abruptly and move to brush past her, but she snakes her arm out, stopping me from moving. Her hand wraps around my own and her touch freezes me on the spot. I stand frozen as her fingers linger, their coldness seeping straight through my hoodie sleeve. She trails her hand up and down my arm. Every pass of her hand shifts my sleeve up higher and higher.
My sleeve gets pushed up to my mid forearm and stays there as she keeps tracing my skin. Her movements are so feather-light, they tickle my arm, sending goosebumps across my skin. We’re both lost in the trance of our skin touching, the feeling so foreign yet so familiar, it’s startling.
Essa is the first one to snap out of it, abruptly pulling her hand away from me. My arm drops heavily to my side and we both shift, standing up straighter, almost like a defense mechanism.
She clears her throat and limps back to the window, staring outside again. I watch her for a moment before moving to stand next to her. Together, we both stare outside as the rain begins to fall again.
It’s peaceful. Tranquil. Simple.
