Page 5 of Creep
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I’mjerked awake by my earbuds being ripped from my ears. My eyes fly open and I see Ben sitting next to me on the floor.
“Still doing stupid shit, I see,” he says, rolling his eyes at me in mockery. My anger flares as I yank my sleeve back down, not concerned about the blood covering my arm and hand which has long since dried. I scooch up and move farther away from him.
“What I do is none of your fucking business. What do you want?” When I manage to force my eyes to his, I can see his pupils are completely blown. Exactly the same as my mother’s were earlier.
“I told you I’d be coming to pay you a visit tonight, so get undressed.”What?I start to panic, the bliss from the pain long gone.What does he mean get undressed?He’s never come to my room before. He’s always made us go outside to their piece of shit car—when they had one—or even to the shed in the backyard, as creepy as it is, but never in my room.
My room is my sanctuary away from all of this bullshit. This can’t happen here. It can’t.
“Please not in here. We can go where we usually go, or literally anywhere else, but not in here. Holley could wake up or something.” I beg him with everything in me, the words sounding sour on my tongue but I fight with myself to spew them out. I can’t lose this last piece of myself. He swings his arm out and slaps me so hard across my face, my eyes instantly water. I feel as my lip splits open and blood floods the back of my throat.
“I didn’t ask for your commentary on the situation. You’re acting like I give a shit about you or anything you want. You’re only good for one thing, so take off your damn clothes, Essa.”
Not wanting to risk waking Holley and having her walk in on this, I stop fighting him. I stand on shaky legs and pull my jeans off, throwing them to the side. Gripping the hem of my sweatshirt, I pull it over my head and drop it next to me. I sit back down and close my eyes, shutting it all out. I barely even notice his hands on my hips, pulling me to him while pushing until my back hits the floor.
His wretched odor smacks me in the face as he crawls over me. I gag at his putrid smell and swallow the vomit shooting up my throat. The acidity of the bile burns my throat.
I scream at myself to shut off the pain, the agony, all of it.
Moving his body over mine, he spreads my legs wide enough to bring pain even before he starts, but I know it’s nothing compared to what I’m about to feel. He thrusts inside of me and as much as I try to fight it, a scream tears from my throat anyway. I fling my hand to cover my mouth, hoping to muffle the noise. Tears stream down my face as I quietly sob in pain.
Someone please come fucking save me.
Pain.
The fucking pain.
I feel the familiar wave of disconnect come finally over me. I don’t always have the option to detach myself from what happens, but tonight I fight like hell with my head to stay this way, and by some miracle, it does.
2
Essa
The next morning,I wake to the sound of shit hitting the walls. I let out a huff, already exasperated with today. I push myself off of the floor with a groan. My body screams in pain with every move I make. Ignoring my body's way of telling me to relax and try to heal, I throw my favorite Bring Me The Horizon hoodie on to cover my arms. I don’t need Holley seeing them and finding another excuse to stay here.
I found the hoodie at the same garage sale we found Holley’s mattress at, but obviously I didn’t have the money for it. Once we got her mattress to the house, I went back, shoved it in the backpack I was wearing and took off. It was worth the risk too. I have a massive weakness for band merch.
On my way to the kitchen, I stop at Holl’s door to check if she’s awake, but it’s already open. I push it open all the way, but she’s not even in her room.Fucking great.She’s been dealing with their deranged behavior by herself. I’ve told her a hundred times, hell, even more than one hundred, to come and get me when she wakes up so she doesn’t have to be alone, but apparently she can’t fucking listen to me.
While searching for Holley, I trip over a patch of carpet sticking up. I tumble to the floor, but as is usual with my luck, my face breaks the fall. My nose gushes blood and it just starts spewing everywhere like a fucking fountain.Great, this is just the type of shit I want to be dealing with today on top of everything else.
Ijustwoke up and I’m already annoyed. I push myself up while pinching my nose with one hand. Sprinting to the kitchen, I grab the pale yellow hand towel which is lying on the counter. I bring it to my nose and pinch the bridge with it to stop the flow of blood. It’s not my first nosebleed and it definitely won’t be my last.Fuck you very much, Benjamin.
I roll my eyes, but wince when my head begins to throb. I keep my nose pinched and while waiting for the blood to stop flowing, I roam my eyes around the open floor plan of the kitchen and living room. It’s basically just one big room, except the living room has a smaller doorway to make the rooms seem separate. It’s a stupid fucking design if you ask me, but beggars can’t be choosers I guess.
Holley’s seated on the couch with a bowl in her hands, watching a movie on our small box TV. I sit down next to her and glance in her bowl to see what she found to eat. A bowl of fucking Corn Flakes. She claims they’re her favorite, but I know they’re not, because who’s favorite fucking cereal is Corn Flakes? Froot Loops are actually her favorite, but she knows we can't afford them. To try to make me feel better, she lies and says these are her favorite.Always the fucking people pleaser.
I plop my ass down next to her and push myself up against her, resting my head on her shoulder while still holding the towel to my face. Holley tears her eyes from the television and darts them over to me when she notices the blood on my hoodie. Blood from my nose and not my arm thankfully.
“What the hell happened to you?”
“I fucking tripped on that patch of carpet sticking up in the hallway.Again.”
Holley snorts and laughs so hard she has to set her bowl on the floor so she doesn’t spill it.
“How many times now have you tripped on it? Seven, eight? You think you’d remember it was there and watch where you walk, Ess. At least you haven’t hurt yourself before now.”
