Page 35 of Finn
The events of the night flooded back to me, relentless, dragging me through a whirling storm of emotions I could barely name, let alone process.
“He’s alive,” I whispered, curling onto my side as if the words themselves could somehow anchor me. “We both are.”
It still didn’t feel real.
That terrible moment when I’d stabbed Gabriel in the chest, thinking it was the only way to end things, to fulfill my mission and keep him from being hunted down… and then seeing him spring back, still alive, to save me from Scar.
It was all too surreal, like a nightmare where you suddenly wake up, safe but shaken.
I pressed a hand to my chest, where I could still feel the remnants of the panic and grief that had nearly drowned me.
The relief had been so overwhelming that it hurt, but I hadn’t had time to process any of it.
Gabriel had pulled me to my feet, and then we’d fled, both of us silent, moving through the city’s shadows.
Now, alone in this dingy apartment, my mind finally caught up to my heart.
It felt like I was being torn in two.
Gabriel wasn’t just some monster… he was still Gabriel, even if he was changed.
Seeing the way he’d looked at me, touched me, hearing his voice again, it was all proof that the Gabriel I knew was still in there.
That the boy who trained me, laughed with, cared about more than I’d ever dared admit to myself… he wasn’t entirely gone.
And yet, the reality was brutal. There was no future for us.
My duty to the Guild, to the Elders, they’d been drilled into me my whole life.
A hunter and a vampire couldn’t be together. It was dangerous, reckless, impossible.
The logical part of me knew that, but my heart and damn my heart, it refused to listen.
A sharp pang ran through me, thinking of the Guild, the place that had raised me, trained me, and now used me.
I thought of Marcus’s cold, calculating voice, and the way they’d thrown me at Gabriel like I was nothing more than a tool.
The resentment bubbled up, almost choking me.
I’d spent my life following their orders, believing in their cause, believing that I was doing something good, something righteous.
And now, it felt like I’d been betrayed by my own purpose. The ache in my chest spread, making my whole body feel leaden.
I wanted to be with Gabriel, more than anything, but I’d already betrayed him once.
How could he trust me? I had no right to expect anything from him, not after what I’d done.
I thought back to the look he’d given me before he’d left, the mixture of hope and pain that had simmered in his gaze.
Could he really forgive me?
With a weary sigh, I rolled onto my back and stared at the cracked ceiling.
Maybe we could survive this. Maybe, somehow, there was a way out of this mess. But it wouldn’t be easy.
The Guild wouldn’t forgive my failure so easily, and if Beric’s nest found out about us, they’d come after us too.
Every way I looked at it, we were trapped, bound by the choices we’d made and the lives we’d once led.
