Page 85 of Lost Room Lawyer
How much I wanted to object, but even I knew I had no say in this matter.
“Are you the father?” the woman asked.
I frowned.Do I look that old?“I’m his boss,” I replied stiffly.
The psychologist merely nodded and turned to the door. “It won’t take long.”
“Will you tell me what happened?” I finally asked Viktoria.
She hesitated, taking in my appearance. I was well aware that I no longer presented the polished lawyer I used to be. Since last Friday, sleep had been elusive, and I lacked the energy to dress up. What difference would it make? I was now sporting a three-day stubble and no tie. My facade had already crumbled.
Viktoria studied me thoughtfully for a moment. When her stern gaze softened, I raised my eyebrows in irritation.
“You’re here,” she said with resignation. “Not because of me, but because of him.”
I was breathless.
Was this a test?
No way I could talk my way out of this—no matter how good my arguments were. All the blood drained from my face, and Istared at Viktoria in disbelief. I opened my mouth and gasped for air. I was unable to perceive the world around me; what was happening inside me was overwhelming—and not in a positive way. I felt nauseous, and as I turned my head and searched for a place to sit, I began to stagger.
“Careful,” Viktoria said, supporting me and guiding me to a row of chairs along the wall. “Sit down. Should I get you some water?”
I propped my elbows on my knees, leaned forward, and rubbed my mouth. “No,” I murmured, then straightened up. “I’m fine.”
We sat in silence for a while, which gave me the chance to collect myself, until Viktoria spoke words that threw everything into disarray again.
“You’ve fallen in love with him.”
“Shit,” I groaned, burying my face in my hands.
“It was lorazepam,” she finally said. “His roommate found him early enough and reacted.”
“That doesn’t sound like him at all.” I carefully sat up. Noticing Viktoria’s gaze, I cleared my throat. “I … uh … didn’t know him like that.”
“Depression isn’t like a broken leg that everyone can see,” she informed me. “It seems he had been spiraling downwards the past few days.”
“But … No … I mean … That can’t have been intentional.”
But then I remembered how he had talked about his mother. The void she left in his life must have been huge, and I had probably pushed him into it with just a few words.
I shook my head in disbelief. “This can’t be happening.”
“Listen, I …” Viktoria stood up again. “I need to return to the emergency room. We … uh … can talk later.”
I just nodded and stared at the floor as Viktoria walked away.
Yes, I had failed the test. The game was over. I could no longer lie to myself. My strength wasn’t enough for that.
Shit … What will my kids think?
My clients?
My friends?
Leo?
Fuck!
