Page 76 of Lost Room Lawyer
It pained me to see her like this because she deserved nothing but the truth.
“I occasionally … have affairs with men,” I admitted, my voice barely more than a whisper. It wasn’t shame that weighed me down, but disbelief in myself. I wasn’t repulsed or embarrassed, but I was stunned that I had kept it a secret for so long. That single sentence forced me to confront a truth I had never allowed myself to acknowledge. I had become trapped in a spiral I couldn’t escape from. It hadn’t been my intention, but I had gotten away with it and even found some enjoyment in it.
“What does occasionally mean?”
“Once a month?” I answered with a question, even though I knew very well.
“And … um …” Viktoria squared her shoulders and wiped away a tear. “What kind of men are they?”
“Callboys.”
She stood up, sobbing as she swiped the tears from her face. “Callboys!” she repeated accusingly. “Damn it!”
Her helplessness turned into anger as she furiously tousled her brown curls. “And I, the idiot, didn’t notice anything all this time!”
“Vicky, please …” I didn’t want her to blame herself.
“Tell me, since when!”
Now I was the one who bowed my head in shame. “Do you remember when I had to go to London on business with a client? He threw a party and invited a few guys … well … one thing led to another …”
“London?” Viktoria widened her eyes. She was doing the math. “That was thirteen or fourteen years ago!” she shouted at me.
I said nothing in response, clinging to my espresso cup and fighting the urge to run away.
“Ten years!” she yelled, completely beside herself. “You’ve been deceiving me for over a decade! What’s wrong with you?”
That was a good question, which made me shake my head in disbelief. “I don’t know,” I answered remorsefully.
“And I thought it was my fault!” Viktoria cried, throwing her arms up. “Which, in a way, it is! Damn it, Hector! All those years … when we had sex …! Urgh!” She vented her anger with a loud outburst, repeatedly tugging at her hair as she paced back and forth in front of the dining table. “I thought you didn’t find me attractive anymore! I feared I wasn’t enough for you in bed! I even worried that you were having an affair with someone else! But then, when I visited you at the office and saw that young, dark-haired man… You two hugged, and it was so clear that you were closer than just lawyer and client! God, Hector!”
“I’m sorry, he … Yes, we know each other from before,” I confessed.
“The boy isn’t even twenty-five! How do you know him?”
“He was a callboy.”
Viktoria grabbed the back of a chair and stared at me. She tilted her head slightly, as if she was feeling dizzy. Yet again, she wiped her tears away again and sniffled. “I was so confused … and when … when I saw Leo again … at the restaurant. Damn it, Hector! Every time you went to the bathroom to wash your hands …”
A hot wave surged through my veins. The first time I had followed Nico, and it had led to that wonderful kiss. The second and third times—Nico had already left us—I had not been able to resist the pressure to wash my hands.
“You should have seen me!” Viktoria exclaimed, distraught. “The way I behaved. I hardly recognized myself! I was so desperate for Leo’s attention. And you know what? He gave it to me! He complimented me, told me how beautiful I am. He even invited me to dinner on Friday. And we both know what would have happened next!”
“Friday?” It took me a moment to piece the days together. Easter was in between, so … “Last Friday?”
“I didn’t go. Instead, I wanted to give us another chance, to surprise and seduce you, and to rekindle our sex life. That’s why I came to the apartment. But then there was that callboy! And Luca! And Leo’s son, Nico, in your bed! Damn it, Hector! I really thought it was my fault, but now everything is clear to me.”
For a moment, an intense silence hung heavy. My pulse began to steady, and I tried to sort my thoughts.
How could I have been so careless?
We should have gone to a hotel.
But the city apartment was my second home. And with Luca and Juri there, the only two people I could talk openly with, it had become my personal refuge.
“Say something already,” Viktoria urged.
“What do you want to hear?” I asked regretfully. “We had a really long dry spell. And I can’t even deny the blame, because it certainly wasn’t your fault.”
