Page 71 of Lost Room Lawyer
Viktoria’s mouth fell open again, but then she just shook her head and stormed through the hallway toward the door.
“Wait!” I shouted, grabbing the shirt that was lying on the chair by the entrance, quickly putting it on, and rushing after Viktoria. “Please! It’s not what it looks like!”
Viktoria turned to me in front of the coat rack. “Not what it looks like?” she growled. Then she extended her arm and gestured toward the bedroom. “There were condoms and lube in there! Do you think I’m stupid?”
“Please, Vicky. That… that doesn’t mean anything.” A sickening feeling spread in my stomach, and I felt dizzy. But Ihad to do everything I could to keep my house of cards from collapsing. “I love you.”
“Excuse me? Do you even hear what you’re saying?”
“That was just… I was just satisfying my lust. There’s nothing more to it.”
“But thereismore! The boy is lying inyourbed! Do you think I’m blind?”
I couldn’t think of anything to say. As I opened my mouth to try to say something, she finished buttoning up her coat and left the apartment, slamming the door behind her.
My heart was about to burst out of my chest. My pulse hammered in my head, blood rushed through my ears, and I forgot to breathe. When my body gasped for air, I came back to my senses.
“Shit,” I muttered, clasping my mouth as I turned around.
In the hallway stood Nico, dressed in black with a stony expression. It took a moment for me to process what I had said. When he began to move, I panicked, though I couldn’t quite grasp why.
“Nico, I’m sorry, you have to understand…”
“Just forget it,” he said quietly, walking past me and leaving the apartment as well.
Not in a panic, like Viktoria. Nico just walked out.
All the warmth drained from my body and my entire world came crashing down around me. My house of cards seemed to be made of concrete, because the weight I carried felt overwhelming and beyond this world.
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Nico
I could have stayed, but there was nothing left to say. The roles had been clear from the beginning. Even on my first day, I knew where I stood–I was a fun distraction for him and nothing more.
It wasn’t any different the other way around. While Hector paid for sex with men, I had several one-night stands after another; that was normal for me. I was fully aware that I was the affair here. Hector was married, and I hadn’t had any hopes from the start.
Why would I?
That wasn’t my style.
I had never fallen in love.
Even after my confession, I never expected Hector to return my love. After all, he was married.
During the weeks we spent having fun, it became obvious he would do anything to keep the affair hidden. His behavior grew almost paranoid.
But I didn’t care. I didn’t have to think about it because there was no future between us anyway.
So I couldn’t understand why I felt so unbearably empty right now.
Yes, I mourned my mother, but even I could distinguish the hole she left in my life from the pain Hector caused—something I hadn’t been prepared for. The thing in my chest was shattered and bleeding. Numbness returned, and I moved as if in a bubble.
In an attempt to find clarity, I directed the aggression at myself and dug my fingernails into the skin.
How could I be so stupid?
