Page 97 of All Mine
The thing was, she’d let herself go with it. She’d believed it to the extent that it seemed like the beginning of something. She’d been so ready to think his feelings might match hers. That he might be falling for her the way she was for him. Because that’s what it was for her. She knew that now. Full-blown, life-changing, heartbreaking love. She was in love with Etienne Martin. And for a blissful, exciting few minutes, she had fooled herself into believing he felt the same. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
She should have known that her feelings were never matched.
With Daniel, she had loved him and believed he loved her. She had been loyal, and trusted he was the same. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
She should have listened to the girls.
Because Etienne doesn’t do relationships. . . he’s not the boyfriend type. . .
I truly don’t think he has it in him. . .
Well, he’d proved them all right this afternoon. He’d stayed true to his reputation, and she was the fool for thinking he could have been anything different. She slammed her fists into the pillow as she collapsed onto the bed, finally letting herself cry.
She wanted to hate him. She wanted to feel like she did after Daniel betrayed her, filled with blazing fury and white-hot rage. She wanted to hate all men because none of them could be trusted to be honest and faithful. Because feeling angry and righteous would be better than this. But instead, as her sobs subsided, she just felt hollow and sad.
She dragged herself up from the bed to sit at her dressing table. The mirror reflected the shadows of her cheeks, the empty expression in her eyes. She squeezed make-up remover onto a cotton pad and gently wiped it around her face, removing any traces of the day. It was one she would rather forget.
Isabella had a restaurant to open in three days. It was so nearly here, the day she had envisaged since signing her name on the divorce papers, the last time she ever signed as Isabella Simmons. The day she opened Tutto Mio, she thought, would mark a high point in her life as a successful, single woman.
And yet, here she was, devastated. She’d let herself fall for a man– again. A man who couldn’t love her the way she wanted him to– again. And she hated herself for it. Because, if Etienne turned up now, knocking at her flat door, she’d want to answer. If he pulled her into his arms, she’d want to fall against him. And if he kissed her, she’d want nothing more than to kiss him back. For the rest of her life.
She plaited her hair into one single rope down the back of her head. She rubbed lip balm onto her lips, then pulled on her pyjamas. Yes, it might only be six o’clock in the evening but for her, the day was over. She refused to look at The Bistro as she pulled the blinds closed, in case she caught a glimpse of the man she so desperately wanted to see. It wouldn’t help.
The only thing she could do now was to focus on what she’d come here for. To finalise all the last points for the opening and make sure the launch of Tutto Mio was the biggest success it could be.
Her phone pinged and her heart stopped. She reached for it with trembling hands.
It wasn’t him. She closed her eyes tight against the sting.
Instead, a message from Michelle Carter.
The Prime Minister’s announcement has pushed our news piece out of tonight’s programme. Will be tomorrow instead. Thanks again. And well done.
Isabella sighed. She didn’t care if it was today or tomorrow any more, she wouldn’t be watching. Hopefully they would keep the segment in about her promoting Tutto Mio because that would be great free advertising. But she would never watch it because whilst everyone saw her smiling face, the crowds and the community, she wouldn’t be able to forget that out of shot, Etienne was holding her hand.
Getting into bed, she put her phone on silent on the bedside table. She didn’t have the words to talk to anyone and she certainly didn’t want her mamma to FaceTime her because she would see through her fake smile in a second and be worried. Isabella sent her a quick message, letting her know about the ‘food poisoning’ and the fact that she was going to sleep, knowing that would prevent her from calling until tomorrow.
She drank a few mouthfuls of water, as she always did. She plumped her pillows as usual before lying down. She arranged herself in her side sleeping position as if this was just another normal day. She flicked out the light. But this wasn’t a normal day. This was the day she got her heart broken.
Shutting her eyes, she let the tears come again. They seeped out from under her closed lids and ran down her cheeks to the pillow. Tonight was the only night she would let herself feel it. Tomorrow she would get up, move on and focus on her restaurant. And forget the hell about Etienne Martin.
Chapter Fifty
Etienne
The next day, Etienne tried to distract himself with coffees at the park with Fox and Walker. He watched Reggie and George kick dried leaves at each other and tear around the almost-bare trees.
‘Not working today then, Walker?’ he asked.
‘Going in later,’ Walker said, stretching. ‘Extra shift because of the arsonist. Everyone is on high alert and we’ve got all the normal firework worries to cope with too.’ He circled his arms; he’d done five days in a row. He looked tired. Etienne yawned too.
‘You working hard as well?’ Fox asked him. ‘Or hot date?’
‘Neither,’ Etienne said. ‘I just didn’t sleep well.’ When he said he didn’t sleep well, he wasn’t sure if he’d slept at all. Any time he closed his eyes, he had kept seeing the way Isabella had straightened her spine to look him in the eye. The way that flush of colour crept up her neck, giving her real feelings away. Her embarrassment, her hurt, because of him.
At one point in the night, he’d found himself wandering the apartment, barefoot so as not to disturb Fred snoring in the spare bedroom. The square was quiet and empty, the glow from the street lights throwing golden circles on the paving. Across the way, Tutto Mio was in darkness. His chest was heavy as he thought about Isabella sleeping inside.
‘Worrying about your brother?’ Fox asked and Etienne nodded.
