Page 29 of Cozy Girl Fall
“It’s late.” She cut off his words with a nod, unsure if she could trust herself to be there alone with him when all she could think about was following him back to his bedroom and finishing what they’d begun. “I should get going. I’m sure you’re right, the pan will be fine.”
“I—”
“See you later.” She spun on her heel and this time she was the one who ran away from him. The night air hit her with a sharp chill of reproachment, like it too knew what she’d just done and was judging her for it, and she shivered as she climbed into her car and let her head drop down to rest against the wheel.
She was so screwed.
12
How many times could she screw up in just one month? Penny felt like she should have reached her limit by now, except the hits kept coming.
The drive home after leaving Ethan’s hadn’t been long enough to clear her head, so she parked her car in the driveway at her parents’ and grabbed her coat and scarf from the backseat of the car. Wrapping them tightly around herself, Penny tried to breathe deeply, to center herself as she observed the mist her breath made and shoved her hands deep in her pockets to stay warm.
She sucked the cold air down greedily, hoping it might cool the fire Ethan had heated in her blood, or that it might sedate the part of her that was tempted to get back in her car and walk straight back into Ethan’s arms. Because there was no doubt in her mind that he had a lot still to give … and so did she. But would it end up hurting them more than if she’d just stayed away?
Leaves crunched under her boots as she followed the familiar path that curled around the side of her parents’ cottage and led into the fields. The rhythmicthump of her feet on the ground kept her heart beating steady as the trail opened up to a dirt path, a sparsely held together fence on one side, bathed in moonlight.
It had been ten years since she’d lasttrulykissed Ethan Blake, and now she’d done it twice in the space of a month. Yet, despite the time that had passed, the feel of his mouth was still as deeply ingrained in her skin now as it had been when she was seventeen. Something burned between them, but she couldn’t work out whether pursuing it would leave her hurt or just hot.
The sky was a clear and deep indigo that darkened the longer Penny walked, stars winking in and out in a sprawl so bright she stopped to crane her neck up and look at them. You couldn’t see stars like this in the city.
When she finally looked back down, her vision swam and the stars were etched on the inside of her eyelids.
Somewhere, an owl hooted, likely searching for mice in the field, and no matter how many times Penny tried to empty her head, she kept finding herself back in that moment at Ethan’s. The smashing of the plates as they’d hit the floor, the silverware bouncing like silver streamers as it hit the hardwood in a clash that should have been deafening. But the only sound she could recall was Ethan’s heavy panting, the way he’d mumbled her name under his breath like a prayer.
She stopped walking once she reached the place where the fencing shifted into a more solid presence. Colton’s land. His fields ran all the way from there to up and past the orchard. His stables were directlyopposite, just across the way, and Penny clicked her tongue gently, hoping one of the horses might still be out.
Colton had never minded before when Penny walked on his land, especially since it bordered her parents’, so she strolled down further. Heavy footsteps had her head jerking up and around and she smiled when a horse as black as the night surrounding them leant its head over the fence and sniffed at her hands eagerly.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t bring any treats.”
The horse didn’t seem to mind, just snuffled its nose in her hands and let her stroke up to the soft center of its head for a scratch as it huffed warm air into her palms.
Maybe coming to Magnolia Springs had caused more problems than it had solved. She didn’t know what to do—pretend like Ethan hadn’t made her come without even removing her pants? Confess to his sister and let her mete out Penny’s punishment? Run again? Not that she had anywhere to run to—and her savings would only last her so long. But, she couldn’t help thinking as she stood out under the stars with the horse’s mane beneath her hand, the truth was … she didn’twantto run again.
She’d been desperate to leave Magnolia Springs as a teenager, but now that she was back she wasn’t sure why. Had she changed? Had the town? Sure it was annoying that everyone knew everyone and all their business, but it also meant there was almost always afriendly face around to tell yougood morningor offer a smile.
The horse, apparently grown tired of waiting for treats that didn’t come, decided to walk away and Penny knew she needed to get home too. It was getting late and the cold air was biting at her skin; already her ears had begun to ache from the chill, so she pulled up the hood on her coat to warm them as she began her walk back to the cottage.
Once again, Penny had made a mess of things and now she had to decide whether to clean it up or lie in it.
She’d walked further than she thought, and by the time she reached the cottage it was nearly eleven. The tiny yard light was still on and she smiled at the familiarity of it all, the fact that her parents still left the light on when she came home after dark.
The warmth rushed over her as soon as she stepped inside and Penny shuddered, the last of the cold trying to cling to her bones as the heat dove in. She unzipped her coat and hung it on the hook, poking her head into the kitchen and instead heading the other way, to the living room when she found the light off. Murmured voices from the TV pulled her in and Penny strode past the hot log burner before dropping into the gray armchair opposite her parents on the sofa.
“How did it go?”
Terrible. Wonderful.“It was OK.”
Angie nodded in response and Penny was grateful that her mom was too engrossed in the film they hadon to notice Penny’s disheveled state. There was still soda in her hair where it had spilled on Ethan’s table while they were—
“So what are we watching?”
“Oh, it’s nearly over now, honey. It was your father’s pick this week.”
Penny nodded. It was probably either an action flick or had something to do with space, the army, or was based on a true story. Her dad was nothing if not predictable.
Still, she sat there quietly in the warmth and let her eyes get heavy to the sound of the TV and her parents’ chatter.
