Page 33 of Cozy Girl Fall
The only direction she’d gotten from Ethan was that Tasha lived on this street, she hadn’t known the doornumber. Movement caught her eye and Penny walked in the direction of the moving red smudge, unable to see if it was Tasha standing by the door through the haze of tears in her eyes that she couldn’t hold at bay any longer.
“Fuck,” Tasha whispered, her face falling and anger dissipating as she took in the blotchy redness of Penny’s face and the dampness of her eyelashes. Her voice echoed through the phone Penny still had clasped to her face until Tasha took it and gently lowered it. “I’m still mad at you,” she warned and Penny nodded, crying harder, and then she was being wrapped in a firm embrace. “Come on then, let’s get inside.”
Penny sniffed, relaxing as the familiar bergamot smell of Tasha’s perfume washed over her, though her tears kept falling as they made their way through the entrance and into the small, brightly colored kitchen. Everything was decorated in shades of orange and white, the bright, happy colors matching Tasha’s personality perfectly. The kitchen counter was a little cluttered—a half-drunk mug of tea and an open package of cookies lying discarded, no doubt when Tasha had gone to open the door.
Penny steeled herself, remembering the words she’d rehearsed in her head as she’d driven over. “I’m sorry, Tasha. Really. I never meant to put Ethan first, ever. I’ve just never thought about it as an either-or situation. You’re my best friend, he was my boyfriend. ButI totally get how it might have seemed that way, especially when we were kids. I really am sorry.”
“Wasyour boyfriend?” Tasha raised her brows and Penny nodded and shrugged simultaneously as she sat at the small round table next to the big modern window.
“I’m not—We’re not—” She blew out a breath and accepted the hot mug of tea that Tasha pushed her way. “He said things to me that I don’t know what to do with, Tash. We saw Shelby at the coffee shop and she was obviously upset and it just opened a whole can of worms. He said he’d felt like he was settling with her because he couldn’t help comparing what they’d had to what we’d had.” Penny slumped forward, despair making her fold herself down until her head hit the table softly. “What am I supposed to do? I’ve tried staying away from him, I’ve tried pushing him away—nothing seems to stick.” A tear leaked from her eye and ran down her face. “Just tell me what you want me to do, because I don’t know any more. All I do know is that I don’t want to hurt him—or you.”
“Do you love him?”
The blunt question took Penny off guard and her head snapped up, fingers clenching around the hot mug of tea. “I—That’s ridiculous. It’s been ten years.”
Tasha’s eyes scrutinized Penny’s face and then she sighed. “So you do.”
“That’s not what I—”
“It’s OK. At least this way I know you’re serious, not just chasing some high-school high.” Tasha watched her steadily before pulling the package of cookies further open and offering them to Penny. “I’d rather have you as a sister-in-law than Shelby any day.”
“Did you know? About why they broke up?”
Tasha shrugged. “He said it just wasn’t right between them.”
A lump rose in Penny’s throat and she swallowed hard. “He told me he waited for me. All that time. Whereas I was off trying to do everything I could not to think about him, or you, or everything I left behind when I ran to the city.” She bit into a cookie and chewed in silence as Tasha watched her swallow. “I don’t know if I deserve that kind of devotion.”
“Maybe that’s not for you to decide,” Tasha said and Penny was surprised at how well her friend was taking all of this—especially given Penny now knew that she’d essentially screwed things up for Ethan after she’d left, despite her not knowing about it back then. Which, really, made her feel worse. The idea that while she was alone and miserable in the city, fighting for a job she thought was her dream, Ethan would have been falling in love with and kissing andmarryingsomeone else with her none the wiser. If she had come home and he’d still been with Shelby …
“We kissed,” Penny confessed, pushing the hypothetical thoughts away as her stomach dropped at the memory of the kiss. She forced herself to makeeye contact with Tasha. “The other night at dinner. I never meant for it to happen, and I left straight away but …”
“The damage was done,” Tasha said, a small smile on her face. She sighed. “It wasn’t fair of me to try to keep you guys apart, especially with your history. You two are like magnets, and I can’t fault you for loving him. Just, please, if you’re going to pursue this, don’t hurt him. Are you still planning on leaving?”
“Yes,” Penny said without thinking, before her confidence faltered. “I mean, I think so. Working with Nicky would be an amazing opportunity. Ethan said …” She cleared her throat and continued, “He said he’d come with me.”
Tasha didn’t seem surprised. “That tracks. He said some things over the years that made me think he’d regretted not going with you the first time you left. You have time to figure out what you want this time, though. But maybe don’t discount anything too fast? Ten years might not have changed much between you and my brother, but Magnolia Springs is different now and so are you.” Tasha shrugged. “Maybe it’ll grow on you.”
“Like a fungus,” Penny muttered, making Tasha snort, even as she thought back to the calm she’d found under the stars last night.
“Plus, it’d be nice to have you around more …”
Penny bit into a chocolate chip cookie and hummed happily around the bite. “We’ll see.”
“So tell me more about this kiss—but bear in mind this is my brother we’re talking about.”
When Penny returned to her parents’ cottage, she knew there was an inquisition coming. She noted the tell-tale long looks, the particularly generous measure of wine in her glass, and, to top it all off, her mom had made meat loaf. So when Angie Larkin leant forward, hands steepled beneath her chin as Penny put the first bite in her mouth, she wasn’t surprised.
“So, what’s new with you, honey?”
The meat loaf was a tad dry while somehow being soggy, a confounding experience for the senses, meant to throw the recipient off balance so her mom could better extract whatever information she wanted to know. The CIA had nothing on Angie Larkin.
“Not much,” Penny said, taking a gulp of her white wine to dislodge the meat loaf clogged in her throat—another deliberate choice, alcohol loosening the lips. “Things are going well at the orchard.”
“Great, great …”
They resumed eating, the quiet prickling along Penny’s skin as she shared an amused glance with her dad who was used to his wife’s antics.
“Well, I had a great day.” Angie placed her silverware delicately on the edge of her plate as she dabbed a napkin at her mouth with enough demureness that you would have thought they were in a five-star restaurant and nothaving family dinner in the cottage. “I heard something very interesting today, actually. You remember Coffee Affair in town, don’t you darling?”
