Page 10 of The Other Side of Paradise
“Lucky?I started rambling at her about bathrooms and then told her she wasvery intelligentbecause she pieced together what my name was after I’d told her my name.”
He laughed. “You’re so useless,” he said, and I scowled, folding my arms and leaning petulantly against the railing as he went on, “Honestly, you’ve gotta give it a try. Just go ask her to dinner or something. Can’t embarrass yourself more than you already have.”
“I assure you I can. Ugh.” I massaged my forehead. “She’s… I’m not… even if she were interested, I’m not…” I shook my head, my face prickling. “She’s a guest.”
“Oh, yeah, no making personal connections with the guests. The most broken rule in history. Should I start listing the number of guests I’ve kissed?”
“Please don’t. I’d retch.” I sighed, looking down at my shoes on the dark wood below. I’d been talking to Brooklyn about it just earlier today… I think my mind had drifted a little bit to places it shouldn’t have gone after I met Stella this morning,daydreaming about girls way out of my league, and Brooklyn had gone off talking about hookups too. And she’d brought up the girl who’d been around last year—the one who I swore up and down wasn’t flirting with me and who Brooklyn swore up and downwasflirting with me, and then after she’d left, I’d realized,oh, shit, she had been flirting with me.
But she’d been from a million miles away, and if I had hooked up with her, then I’d have been miserable once she’d left. So it was for the best.
Ugh, I just kind of hated that mindset, though.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Gavin said, and I shrugged.
“Keep your penny. More than they’re worth.” I sighed. “Doesn’t it seriously fucking suck when you have a hot fling with someone and they leave?”
“Think you’d have to ask BB for the real details on that,” he said. “I’m an amateur compared to her.”
“You’ve done it more than I have.”
“I’ve done it twice. But yeah, I’ll assume that’s more than… zero?”
I scowled. He laughed.
“Isn’t everything temporary, anyway? You’ll drive yourself mad if you go thinking about it too much. Even if it weren’t on some far-flung island, you never know when your loyal partner is going to move on. Any day could be the last. They could break up with you, cheat on you, or hell, you might even fall out of love with them. Worrying about it is only going to make you miserable.”
I hunched my shoulders. “I mean, I guess… but there’s a difference between something you know is only going to be a few days, and something you think might be able to last.”
“What, because the one that’s only a few days, you at least know how and when it’s going to end?”
I sighed, even though I couldn’t suppress a smile. “I’m the only one here who gives a damn about romance.”
He laughed, pushing off from the railing. “Maybe the real romantic thing to do is to believe love overcomes all odds and to try it out anyway. Don’t know, just spitballing. I’d better get back for the night, I’ve got an early shift tomorrow and I hung out too late with Miguel.”
“You’ve never once been responsible in your life.”
“So why start now?” He covered up a yawn, pushing past me in the direction of the parking lot. “See you tomorrow, Allison.”
Sometimes I wondered what my life would look like if I weren’t scared of literally any amount of change, confrontation, or difficulty in my life.
I sighed, walking back in the direction of my car.
∞∞∞
It was the morning after I’d embarrassed myself in front of Stella trying to get back the things I’d forgotten at the workshop when I embarrassed myself a little extra by forgetting my ID badge at Brooklyn’s place, when I’d been around sulking over pizza. So I’d woken up tangled in blankets at odd angles in my bed against the window and bumped my head on the shelf above the bed, nearly knocked one of the packed-in potted plants off the shelf in the process, and flopped out of bed onto the floor to get dressed and go down the road to Brooklyn’s place.
I wasn’t a morning person, but every time I woke up in the morning, I regretted a little bit that I wasn’t—the air was so crisp and fresh when I stepped outside to the sound of birds and the wind on the ocean, the sunlight softer andgentler against the cool morning air, and walked under where the broad-leafed palms were still damp with dew, making it to Brooklyn’s bungalow, furrowing my brow at the sight of a car I didn’t recognize in front, a sleek black SUV that looked like it must have been a nice rental. Had Brooklyn seriously tried to hook up with someone, found out he was taken, broke up their relationship, and then gone to hook up with somebody else? Girl was a menace to society.
And I was a menace to her, interrupting her morning-after to get my stuff back. I knocked awkwardly on her front door, hands in my pockets swaying as I waited there on her stoop, and she answered the door in short order, looking bright-eyed enough that I assumed I hadn’t interrupted any morning sex.
“Hey,” I said, and she put her hands on her hips.
“I fed you last night, and you already want me to feed you again? Little baby bird over here.”
I put my hands up defensively. “I’m not even harassing you for food this time! I left my work jacket here last night… it’s got my name badge in it.”
“Oh yeah.” She looked back over her shoulder, stepping back out of the doorway to let me in. “Well, you’re here now, so do you want coffee?”
