Page 99 of Moonlight & Matrimony
? Heart Like Yours - Williamette Stone
After Luca left, I curled up on the sofa with Rylin at my side, still stunned by those two simple words that felt like a fist squeezing my heart. I hadn’t intended to eavesdrop on their conversation. I was just coming out to find Rylin when I caught them together on the stump. Luca looked bewildered when she whispered those words in his ear, and I could’ve sworn I imagined it. I backed away as quietly as I could, not wanting to intrude on their moment.
With Rylin’s head resting on my lap, I stroke her curls away from her face. “I’m so proud of you, my love,” I whisper, still playing with her hair. I inhale a steadying breath, hoping to reach whatever part of Rylin had finally broken free. “I missed him, too, you know?” Rylin shifts onto her back, her piercing blue eyes boring into me from below. “I think mommy was just scared.”
Her brows furrow in confusion, and I can tell she wants me to continue. “Sometimes it’s hard to let people into your heart ifyou think they might hurt you,” I explain. “I didn’t want to let myself love Luca, but I don’t think I had a choice, Ry.”
I was speaking more for myself now, well aware that this conversation might be beyond the understanding of a four and a half year old child. “Luca loves you. He might even love me; if I let him.”
“I do,” a strong, familiar voice cuts in. “I’ve loved you for a long time, Ivy. Both of you.”
Rylin jumps up from my lap, throwing herself over the back of the sofa into Luca’s awaiting arms. “Hey, my little bug,” he says with a chuckle.
“Thank you,” she whispers. Tears spring to my eyes as a little more of her spirit emerges with every whispered word. I rise and walk around the sofa to stand beside them, stroking a hand over Rylin’s back in soothing circles.
Luca squeezes her for a second, unable to contain the emotions written all over his face. “For what?” His hand finds mine on her back and squeezes.
“You saved us,” she says, matter-of-factly, as though she hadn’t just shattered our hearts into a million tiny pieces at her feet with just the sound of her sweet voice. “It was scary.”
Every word is both a relief and a dagger, filling me with such a complex mix of emotions that I don’t even realize I’ve started sobbing until Luca reaches out his arm and pulls me into them.
“I’d do anything for you, Ry. I love you like you’re my own.”
“Love you,” she says, grasping his face in her hands as she brings her lips to his cheek, then rubs their noses together. He closes his eyes and I watch as a tear disappears into his beard. I’ve never felt more raw than I do right now, clinging to Luca’s tear soaked shirt as my daughter gives him her whole heart, mine following right along with it. Three little words linger on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t bring myself to set them free. Not yet.
An hour later, Rylin is fast asleep between us on the sofa as a blue dog learns some deeply meaningful lesson about life. “We should get her up to bed,” I say. Luca and I haven’t said much since our buffer fell asleep, sitting in companionable silence for what felt like hours. The air is thick with tension, neither of us quite ready to talk about everything that’s happened since Rylin and I showed up out of the blue. In my defense, I just assumed Paige would have told him she called me. I had no idea my arrival would come as a surprise.
“I’ll take her. Wait here for me?” he says.
I nod and click off the tv, watching as he gently lifts Rylin into his arms, disappearing around the corner. His footsteps fade down the darkened hallway, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
I’ve come to hate the quiet, longing for the sweet sound of Rylin’s voice to fill the silence. Now that she’s slowly coming back to us, I find myself wishing for so much more. A home full of laughter and light. Loud, boisterous conversation, family dinners, messy art projects, and paw prints on the hardwood. It’s not hard to picture those things, though the location sometimes changes in my mind. Sometimes we’re at the guest cabin on the ranch, other times we’re back at the house next door, but there is one constant in each one — Luca. He’s always there, a steady, all-consuming presence. I twirl the ring on my left hand. I didn’t have it in me to give it back before I left, and Luca didn’t ask.
“Sorry,” Luca's deep voice cuts through the silence. “She woke up and demanded a bedtime story.”
“I can’t believe she’s talking,” I whisper as I continue to fidget with the ring. The words come out a little breathy, a flood of emotions washing over me. “Thank you.”
“For what?” he asks, taking a seat beside me on the sofa, his thigh brushing mine. “I didn’t do anything.”
“But you did,” I say, shifting my position to face him. “You dideverything.” I gently place my hand on his thigh, feeling the corded muscles beneath his jeans. Tamping down my sudden need to feel more of him, I continue. “You were there for us when you didn’t have to be. Even when you were still coming to grips with what you had to do, you stayed. And I — I ran.” I choke on my admission, unable to contain the rising emotion in my voice.
“You did what you thought was best for you and Rylin. I won’t fault you for that. I missed you like hell, Ivy. Every fucking day without you was pure agony.” His hand finds mine atop his thigh, his thumb stroking a gentle pattern on my palm.
“But?”
“No buts this time, sweetheart. I’m not the same man I was when you left. Let me prove it to you.”
“How?”
“Go out with me. A real date.” I scan his face for a heartbeat. There’s more life there since I left. He’s less… haunted.
“Ok,” I sigh. “I don’t remember the last time I went on a first date.”
“If I have it my way, it’ll be your last first date.”
God, I hope so.
Chapter 30
