Page 23 of Wolf Traded
“Get dressed then, Jara. I’ll take you back to my room.” He emphasizes the word my and I can’t help but feel like I made a terrible mistake. The man is so cold and unforgiving most of the time. How was he able to be so tender and careful with me during the claiming. He said I gave him a precious gift in the middle of the act.
“I can’t wear that dress anymore, Archer. You ripped it in half.” I raise an eyebrow at him but he’s already handing me his discarded shirt. Sure that’s exactly what I want to wear. It feels like a walk of shame as I head barefoot into the forest with him.
I’m wearing his T-shirt that only goes to about mid thigh and following after him. His shoulders are tense as he walks in front of me and I wonder how much he wanted me or the idea of me. The bite on my neck twinges a bit but I made this decision and so I now have to own it.
A twig snaps under my foot and a small squeak of pain escapes me before I can stop it. Archer turns raising a brow at me before looking down at my bare feet and shaking his head. In two long strides he’s crouching before me and lifting my foot. A small trickle of blood dribbles down my foot and a rumble vibrates in his chest before he lifts me in a bridal hold and stomps through the forest as if it personally affronted him not even caring that he is also is walking barefoot through it.
As soon as we get through the forest he looks down at my foot noticing that the small cut has healed in the few minutes of walking and sets me on my feet without a word. The pack houses are all dark and there isn’t a person in sight as he stomps down the dirt path back to his huge house and I’m left with no choice but to follow.
I guess he doesn’t want anyone to see him treating his mate with kindness. That’s fine by me. He’s so unpredictable it makes my head spin.
“When will I meet the pack?” I ask as he leads me back into his house. It is rustic and I finally get a good look even as he stalks up the dark mahogany staircase to the second floor. Everything is rustic but homey and feels lived in with worn hunter green couches and the smell of pine in the air. The whole house smells of Archer and it’s maddening that I already want him again even though he was so cold.
“You will meet the pack tomorrow. Get some rest. It will be a long day.” He says as he ushers me into his bedroom and closes me inside, alone. Again. I don’t know what all of this means or whether we are actually going to be equals in anyway. Is it always going to be like this? I wish I had known more of what he was like before the ceremony though I have to guess this is better than the alternative.
I wait for him to come back for hours pacing the room and wringing my hands together. Eventually I sit in the big bay window looking out at the forest beyond. A wolf howls and the sound calls to me. My wolf desperately wants to answer the call but depression is setting in being locked up in this gilded cage once again.
I know it’s Archer out there running as his wolf and howling and I don’t want to give into him and respond the way he wants. He doesn’t get to be mournful after the way I was treated like I was nothing but an inconvenience after he worked so hard to claim me.
My wolf is confused and slightly angry. She doesn’t understand why I asked to be alone with our mate out there sounding so sad. Her instincts want me to go to him and find a way to make him feel better, but I can’t. He isn’t treating us as a mate should and it just makes me angrier.
The howling continues and the clear night sky starts turning to gray. Just like my mood. Are the gods angry at us for our choices? The stars twinkled down on us just hours ago. Now I can barely see the moon as it hides behind the clouds.
I can almost believe the rumors of his previous mates killing themselves to get away from him. If he is this cold after the beautiful moments we had then I can definitely see why weak females weren’t enough. I am no weak female though and I will find a way to get through to him. I refuse to live the rest of my life this way.
It’s only been a day but the whiplash is already making me doubt myself. I will get through to him no matter what. I chose this over the life of going rogue and I will make the most of it. I sigh as I stand from the window and slump on the bed. He’s right. I need rest if I’m going to meet the pack tomorrow as their alpha female.
Archer
I fucked up. I see it in hindsight. My words ruined that moment for her. I shouldn’t care. Caring is a weakness I can’t afford, but I can’t stop the mournful howl of my wolf as I run the perimeter of my pack lands. My wolf is angry at me. He doesn’t understand why our mate is upset. He runs on instinct and his instinct is telling me that I fucked up. I should care about my mates happiness do anything to keep her happy.
No howls respond to mine and it makes him even angrier. His mate should care about his sorrow but refuses to answer our call and he’s blaming me but I can’t say that he’s wrong. I shouldn’t have put my expectations on her while she was still so happy after our mating. It was dumb and she was absolutely right that I did it to put distance between us.
In the moments after I claimed her as mine my thoughts swirled with all the possibilities. We could have a good life together as the alpha pair of our pack. When the thought crossed my mind that I could even grow to love her a stern voice in my head had mocked me saying love is a weakness and only fools suffered from it.
I shut down all thoughts of the future and what it could bring and did the one thing I know how to do. I ruined the moment became the cold unfeeling alpha. She had been absolutely right to respond in kind and I found myself admiring her strength once again. She doesn’t fear me the way others do and speaks her mind when she knows something is bullshit.
Just the memory of her telling me she’d never been touched causes my body to lock up tight. I ruined that memory for her and my wolf howls again at the thought.
“What are you doing, Archer?” Angela asks from behind me and I growl as I turn toward her. I can’t believe I let my guard down and she was able to sneak up on me like that. I need to get out of my head.
She tosses a backpack to the ground at my feet and I realize she wants me to shift. I shake my head without thought. My wolf isn’t ready to turn back but the way he’s acting I have little choice. “C’mon, Archer. You need to talk to someone, so shift and talk. Why aren’t you with your mate?”
Finally my wolf calms enough to take back control and I shift grabbing for the backpack and grabbing the gray sweatpants and pulling them on. I run my hand through my hair roughly looking up at the night sky. Clouds are moving in and it’s such a contrast to the bright clear night it was merely hours ago.
“I let her know my expectations as alpha female and she got mad and asked to go back to my room.” My tone is hard and cold but Angela doesn’t even flinch. She shoots me a scathing look that had it been anyone else looking at me like that they would be flat on their ass and baring their neck to me instantly.
“So you mated her and then became the cold hard asshole you are to everyone? Yeah, that sounds about right.” She shakes her head, exasperated.
“You don’t get to judge me. If I show weakness even to my mate it puts the entire pack in danger.” I growl back angrily. This is one thing that Angela and I have never seen eye to eye on but she wasn’t there for the extent of what my father did to make sure I would be strong enough to lead one day.
“In a private moment with your mate you pushed her to arms length to not show weakness? It sounds like you feel more than you want to and it’s scaring the hell out of you, Archer. Why don’t you just admit that you aren’t a robot and try to embrace those feelings?”
I shake my head because this is a conversation we have had many times before. The only person I have ever shown any kind of emotion to is Angela but she just doesn’t understand.
“I can’t. You know that. I refuse to be weak.”
“Even if it means you lose her like the others?” Her words are like a punch to the gut. No. I won’t lose her now that she’s mine. I refuse to even entertain that idea. She will not leave me the way the others did. She is strong enough to endure a life without love. She had wanted to go rogue before we gave her the option to be my mate instead.
