Page 123 of Even Angels fall
“Stop sulking and help me,” I tell Léandre before he kicks another pebble with his foot. “You’ve always said that you wanted to fly with me. Now is the time.”
He grumbles again, and I snap.
“Stop being a baby. You’ll be back with Cassiopé in a couple hours or less. I’m going to be stuck on the ground the rest of my life if I don’t learn how to use those damn wings,” I tell him as I lose patience.
Yes, I’m prickly, probably more than he is grumpy, and I know I should probably be nicer after what he lived through, but I’m desperate.
I wasn’t yesterday evening because I was too exhausted to even start to think, but when I opened my eyes this morning, I freaked out.
Knowing the force in presence and the fact that we are obviously going straight to war—or at least that’s what it looks like—I’m going to be the only one stuck on the ground.
It evened things out that we were stuck in a corridor during the battle in Versailles, but it’s not always going to be the same.
And there are going to be guns at some point. I have no idea why so few of Michaël’s guards used theirs, but it’s going to be different next time, and I’m going to be vulnerable—more than anyone else.
The absence of guns during the battle is still nagging at me, though. It was probably something to do with not damaging his precious palace—even if it was a huge failure on that side—or the fact that he knew that he wouldn’t be able to kill Elhyor anyway so it was better not put his own men into the crossfire, but it doesn’t make sense to me.
He has the best engineers working for him, making stupidly efficient weapons.
I used to train with most of those, even if I still prefer fighting with daggers, so I would know.
So yes, I’m more of an ass today than any other day, but I’m never going to say it out loud. I’m scared.
And yet Léandre seems to notice, because he finally looks at me closely, and his eyes soften.
“It’s going to be alright,” he tells me, and I want to believe him, but life is so fucked up lately that I don’t even know what to think anymore.
“Okay,” he says, “let’s start with the basics. You know how to shift now, right?”
I’d like to say I know how to but if yesterday is any proof of anything, it’s that yes, I know how to shift; I just have no clue how to control it.
Léandre takes my silence for what it is—denial—and sighs.
”What triggered your shifts so far?” He asks when he sees I’m not going to answer with more than a shake of my head.
“The fear of crashing to the ground?” I answer, but it’s more like a question because that was probably one of the reasons, but I wasn’t really scared.
I’ve been scared in my life, I still am even if the reasons why have changed recently, but I don’t think I could say I was scared shitless of going splash on the ground. That could have been a “relief” of not having to fight anymore, but even that is wrong. I never in my life contemplated ending my life, even when I didn’t know if I could actually shift and jumped from Notre Dame’s rooftop.
It was a mix of determination and of will to show them what I was made of, but I don’t think those are what Léandre is looking for here.
Or maybe it might.
“I wanted to prove that I could fight for myself the first time, and well, all the times with Elhyor it was more about the fact I didn’t want him saving me,” I answer.
”So, pride,” Léandre answers, thoughtful, “it might be the death of you.” His laugh is teasing, but it seems to give him an idea.
“Come with me,” he says without even looking at me to see if I’m following.
I have the temptation not to comply, just to spite him for being reluctant to spend time with me instead of Cassiopé, but I tuck my pettiness into a dark corner of my consciousness and follow after him.
He’s doing this for me, after all.
But if I know anything about my best friend, it’s that, with the smile he gave me before he asked me to follow, I’m gonna hate what’s coming.
We arrive at the training grounds, and I’m a bit lost as to why we’re here, but still, I let Léandre do his thing.
He drags a chair to the middle of the central trading, annoying the two warriors who were sparring, preventing them from training because I’m right in the middle, and they can’t use the space the way they need.
