Page 21 of Finding Haven
“I, um,” I laugh softly, clearing my throat when the words come out more hoarse than I’d intended. “I’m good, Z. Areyoualright?” I ask, shifting into a more comfortable position as I pull a blanket over my heated body, suddenly feeling far too vulnerable.
He’s quiet for a moment, and I watch as he uses his discarded briefs to wipe the cum from his chest. “I would be better if I were there to take care of you,” he murmurs, sinking back into the pillows behind him as he rests his free hand on his lower abdomen.
I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face at his desire to care for me. Of the few men I’ve been with, none have ever bothered with aftercare. They would simply toss me a towel so I could clean myself up and then mumble some excuse about having somewhere else to be or having to get up early the next morning for work.
Which is fine, it’s not like I can’t take care of myself. But the idea of someone, of him specifically, caring enough about me to stick around and make sure I’m alright means more to me than I can even begin to comprehend.
"Hey, Sugar.” He seems hesitant as his voice cuts through the silence. “I know that our session is technically over…" He trails off, seemingly gathering his thoughts. The camera angle shifts just enough for me to catch a glimpse of his mouth. His lips part as he exhales a heavy sigh, the hand on his chest tensing as his fingers press over his heart.
He's nervous.
"Hey, Z," I say softly, not giving him the chance to continue.
"Yeah?"
"I'm not ready to go to bed just yet. Would you wanna stay and chat with me for a bit?" I really hope I'm not wrong about this. It seemed like he was going to ask a similar question, but something made him pause. Maybe he feels like he would be breaking some kind of unwritten rule, and if I've picked up on anything about this man, it's that he's as respectful as they come.
“I'd love to, Sugar,” he says, all traces of uncertainty removed from his voice.
“Would you mind if I turned my camera off?” I'll leave it on if he asks, but I would really love to slip into a pair of pajamas and get this mask off my face.
“Do whatever makes you feel comfortable.”
Every word he says has his voice sinking deeper into my soul. Familiarity claws at my subconscious, begging me to realize that he might not be as much of a stranger as I think.
16
Zack
Forthefirsttimein years, I slept without the demons of my past haunting my dreams. I have become so accustomed to the soul-shattering visions of Ryan’s body falling into the river below. The distant echoes of Tiffany’s shrill screams, the feeling of shattered glass against my bare skin, and the feeling of blood dripping down my back, mixing with the hot steam of a shower, are all things I’ve grown numb to. But last night, I was given a reprieve from the shadows and instead found my dreams filled with fantasies of a curvy blonde. A woman whose soft smile and bright gray-blue eyes seem to be slowly guiding me out of the dark and into the light.
We spent the night talking long after the session I paid for was over, about everything and nothing at all. I learned that mint chocolate chip is her favorite flavor of ice cream, but not the green kind. She loves the rain and thunderstorms, but only if she can enjoy them from home where she can be curled up on the couch with a book or comfort reruns. Fall is her favorite season because she hates hot weather, something about the way her thighs rub together making it hard to wear shorts.
I’ll admit she lost me on that last part. I love her body, and imagining the way her thick thighs rub together as she moves was just one of the visions that accompanied me in the shower this morning.
It’s a strange sensation, feeling this tethered to a woman I hardly know, but I can’t deny the ache in my chest that seems to be pushing me towards her. An ache I’m not quite ready to examine. It’s been so long since I have allowed myself to form a true connection with anyone else, and I was beginning to think my ex had done such an extensive amount of damage that I’d never feel that kind of connection again. I was getting used to the idea of being alone.
Then I met Quinn that night at the Elysian bar, and even if I wasn’t aware of it at the time, my world began to shift off its axis. Finding her on Frisk was purely a coincidence, but I know I would have continued to seek her out either way. The work she does for the pleasure of others has instilled an insatiable craving, but it’s not the sole reason for my enthrallment. There’s something about the salacious intent of her work that has awoken the darker parts of my soul. The parts I’ve fought to keep hidden from my previous partners.
Everything at the Elysian is quiet today, as it thankfully is most days. It’s been much needed after Tessa called earlier. It’s been a couple of months since we’ve talked, but I try to stay in touch. A few weeks after the accident, Tessa found out she was pregnant. Their son, Jacob, is turning five soon, and Tessa invited me to come back for his birthday party. I’ve never met him in person, but I’ve video chatted with him enough that he recognizes me as Uncle Zack. Ryan would have handed me my ass if he knew how absent I’ve been from his son’s life.
I know I should go home. It would be nice to see my parents, my siblings, and their children, but I don’t know if I’m ready to see Tessa and Jacob. I don’t know if I’m ready to be back in the same town as Tiffany and deal with the potential risk of running into her.
Ace has finally started to settle now that his latest assignment has been handled, despite the threat still lurking over his shoulders. He has organized for a small group of us to go play fucking laser tag tonight, of all things. I’m not even sure why I’m being included in this outing, seeing as I don’t have a connection with anyone else going, but I can’t lie and say I don’t appreciate being included. I’m used to being left to my own devices, though I can’t deny that being alone no longer holds the appeal it once did.
By the time I’m climbing into the Legion-issued SUV, I’m hit suddenly with a wave of unease. He mentioned picking up Chelsea from Buttersweet, and I have no idea whether or not Quinn is working today. It didn’t come up in conversation last night, and there wasn’t a way for me to bring it up without revealing who I am. I don’t know if I can be near her without acting on the desire that will surely be coursing through my veins the second I’m within her proximity.
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this shit,” I tell him, my voice coated in ice to hide the nerves surging through my system.
He laughs. “Just shut up and go along for the ride.”
If only it were that easy.He has no idea that my mind is currently being infiltrated by a desire I may never satiate. I have no way of knowing how Quinn will react when she finds out I’m the one who used the photo she sent me—well, sent NoMerZ—to locate which boutique she was at and left my credit card information to pay for whatever she wanted. There’s a very good chance she will freak out when she discovers I’m theman who has paid for two private sessions now. The man she has seen come on camera. The man who got to hear her moans and watch her body tremble as she succumbed to her orgasm.
Fuck. I really don’t know if I should be tagging along for this little excursion.
Ace stops to pick up his friend Ethan, whom he has known since they were teenagers, and his sister Hailey first. They both climb in behind me, taking the bench seat in the very back. I’ve been around Ethan a few times since meeting him when I first moved to Haven Beach, but Hailey is the only one I’m truly familiar with, as she also spends most of her days working at the Elysian. Of course, I didn’t know at the time that Ethan, the artist responsible for the large, intricate phoenix tattoo spanning across my ribs, was also tied in some way to the family giving me a fresh start.
I’m doing my best to convince the nervous energy buzzing over my skin to dissipate, but the sensation has only heightened by the time we are pulling up outside of the bakery. Ethan leans forward over my seat from where he’s sitting in the very back with Hailey. “We’ll just chill here while you go get your girl,” he says, his voice light and teasing with his comment directed at Ace.
