Page 55 of Finding Haven
I’m so glad you’re coming, Zack.
I can’t remember the last time I saw Jake this excited. He keeps asking how much longer until Uncle Zack gets here. I keep reminding him that you won’t be here until tomorrow for the party.
A heavy sigh escapes me, relief washing over me. Quinn’s hand rubs soothing strokes up and down my arm. “Everything okay?”
An endless assortment of memories begin to flood my mind along with visions of what life could have looked like had the night on the bridge ended differently. A life that could have been filled with more recent memories of Ryan, of him getting to be a father to his son. Visions where I’ve been there to fill the role of the fun uncle since the beginning, instead of waiting five years just to meet him.
But in those visions, Quinn doesn’t exist. Without the tragedy of that night, I wouldn’t have her. I wouldn’t know what it feels like to truly love and be loved in return.
A smile stretches across my face as I turn my head to look at her. “Everything’s fine. Tessa said Jake’s excited and keeps asking when I’m gonna be there,” I chuckle, a strange combination of anxious excitement swirling in my stomach. What if he sees me and doesn’t recognize me? What if he wants nothing to do with me? I haven’t allowed myself the time to stop and think about it until now.
“That’s cute,” she says. “Do you want to call him once we’re in the car?”
“I think so.” I give her hand another squeeze, anchoring myself.
By the time we’ve picked up our rental car and are on the road, my heart is hammering in my chest, preparing to break free. Since Jake’s birthday party isn’t until tomorrow, we’re spending the evening at myparents’ place. My mother tried to insist that we didn’t need to pay to stay somewhere else, but I’ve already booked a room at the Hartridge House, the local bed-and-breakfast. I’ll admit I’m looking forward to seeing my family, but there’s a battle of mixed emotions tangling in my stomach at the thought of seeing Tessa and the guys from Hartridge PD.
Being back here is a strange feeling. The tall lush trees that line the roads once we’re out of the city are a comforting sight, but this place no longer feels like home. The closer we get to my hometown, the more homesick I feel, but the weight of melancholy is merely a reminder of what once was.
“I’ve got you,” Quinn says, reaching across the center console to settle her hand on my thigh, her fingers tracing over my leg through the dark denim of my jeans.
“I know, baby.” I take her hand in mine and bring it to my lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. “Thank you for coming with me. I couldn’t do this without you.”
She hums softly. “I don’t think that’s true.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re amazing, Zack. You’re strong and kind and have an incredibly big heart. I’m so thankful we found each other and that I have you. I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else right now. But I think you would still be here, making this trip on your own, if we hadn’t met.”
The warmth of her words wraps around my heart, making it throb in my chest. I wanted to wait until the moment was perfect, until I had time to plan it out, but I can’t wait any longer. I need her to know.
“I love you, Quinn,” I say, kissing the back of her hand once more before I turn to look at her.
Her gray-blue eyes are fixed on me, her cheeks a soft pink as one of her sun-rivaling smiles stretches across her face. Her teeth sink into her bottom lip for a moment as her eyes search mine. She pulls her hand from mine and moves it to the nape of my neck, her fingers sliding through my hair. “I love you, too.”
Hearing her say the words and knowing that she feels the same way, eviscerates the deep rooted pain I’ve grown accustomed to living with. Everything between us has been a whirlwind of chance encounters, late-night conversations, and the best sex of my entire fucking life. And somewhere in the midst of all that, I found the one who was meant for me.
I have a hard time recalling what my life looked like before Quinn. All I know is that it was dark, cold, and bleak. Because of her, the walls I had kept up like an impenetrable fortress have been demolished, and I’m finally willing to let the light in.
Our video call with Tessa and Jake didn’t last long, but it gave me the reassurance I needed. He didn’t understand why we couldn’t come spend the night at his house, but I promised him that we would be there first thing in the morning. If I’m being honest, that promise was just as much for him as it was for me. Selfishly, I want some time with him by myself before everyone else shows up to celebrate his birthday.
The red maple trees that line the streets of my old neighborhood haven’t changed. Most of the houses look exactly as I remember them, but it’s the one situated at the end of the cul-de-sac that steals the breath from my lungs. The two-story white wood-paneled home has me lifting my foot off the gas pedal, slowly decreasing our speed. The shutters framing the windows look freshly painted, and the planter box that linesthe wooden porch is filled with vibrantly colored flowers, but neither of those things is what captures my attention.
Sitting on the porch in the weathered rocking chair is a woman I haven’t seen in years, yet one I would recognize anywhere. She looks up from the book balanced in her lap, a smile painting her softly wrinkled face as I pull the car up along the curb.
Quinn glances out the passenger side window and then back at me. “Is that your mom?” she asks, her gray-blue eyes brightening as she smiles.
The breath I’ve been holding in my lungs as we drove down the street finally releases. I nod in response as Quinn turns in her seat and reaches for her door handle. “Don’t even think about it, Sugar. You know my rule.” She scoffs and sits back in her seat, her arms folding over her chest. “You’re cute when you pout,” I say, leaning over to press a kiss to her cheek before I pull in a deep breath and climb out of the car.
I walk around the front of the car and open her door, holding my hand out for her. “I’m kind of freaking out,” she admits. “What if your family doesn’t like me?”
I pull her body close to mine and grasp her chin in my fingers, tilting her head back until her eyes meet mine. “They’re going to love you because I love you. You’re perfect, Sugar. Don’t ever doubt that.”
43
Zack
ThenightwaseverythingI didn’t realize I was missing. Grilling burgers with my dad and younger brother while we got caught up felt like just another night. There was no tension or awkward silence as we fell into the natural rhythm of the way our conversations used to unfold. As expected, my mom and sister loved Quinn, and the three of them spent the evening talking as though they’d been in each other’s lives for years.
