Page 17 of Finding Haven
“Nothing like that,” I tease, nodding at what she’s holding in her hands and laughing lightly as she runs her fingers over the straps that criss-cross over the torso. “You would look hot in that,” I tell her honestly.
“I would, wouldn’t I?” she says, holding it out a bit to get a closer look.
“You should get it.” I step over to a wall of various two-piece sets, staring at a few different ones before I pull my phone out of my backpocket. Opening up my chat with NoMerZ on the app, I quickly snap a photo of the display and send it to him. I don’t even know if he’ll see the message right away. He might have his notifications turned off, or hell, he probably has work like most people and won’t be able to respond.
My phone buzzes in the palm of my hand, startling me and making me nearly drop it as a message from Z comes in.
NoMerZ:
Are you shopping for me, Sugar?
Heat rushes through my body and rises to my cheeks.Him and that dang nickname.I know it’s just because of my username, but I can’t deny that it’s getting to me. Minutes pass before I realize I’ve been biting at the inside of my bottom lip and staring at his message. Another one comes through before I can type out a response.
NoMerZ:
I can’t wait to see what you choose.
I open the camera on my phone, stretch my arm out in front of me, and angle it down so that only the lower half of my face is visible along with my body and a wall of lacy things in the background. I quickly look over the photo, making sure no identifying features are visible before I send it to him along with a message.
Any preferences?
His response comes through a few seconds later.
NoMerZ:
I want you to pick something that you’ll enjoy wearing just as much as you would enjoy having me rip it from your body.
I really shouldn’t be this affected by his words, but the fantasy ofhimbeing the one to rip the fabric off of me has made me all the more eager to hurry up and find something. I’m suddenly desperate to get home and jump on camera for him. I never thought I’d be this excited about talking to a faceless stranger, but each conversation with him, no matter how brief, seems to awaken something deep within me. A curiosity that has lain dormant beneath the surface, waiting for the chance to be explored.
The odds of me ever meeting him in person are slim, but that does nothing to prevent me from allowing myself to imagine what it would be like to finally see his face and feel his hands on my body. Would he be just as kind in person as he is online? Would he live up to the expectations he’s creating in my mind, or does he simply use words as a form of foreplay without any intention of following through?
I don’t have time to waste on a man who’s full of empty promises. My life is chaotic enough as it is. What I really need, what I crave, is a partner. Someone who will come into my life, help me find balance, support me and stand up for me, be my rock on the crazy days, and let me do the same for them. Someone who will calm the raging storm that has forever been plaguing my mind.
“Every time I walk away, I just end up looking across the room at it or comparing everything else to this,” Becca says, walking up to stand at my side with the strappy bodysuit in her hand. “Did you find anything for your mystery man yet?” She peers over my shoulder and scoffs when she sees my empty hands.
I release a heavy sigh and say, “I don’t know why this is so hard.” I throw a hand out, gesturing to the endless options surrounding us. “There are so many that I love, but I keep getting stuck on wondering whathewould love.” Everything I’ve worn on camera so far has been just for me. I don’t choose my outfits with anyone else in mind. As much as the photos and videos are for my subscribers, the lingerie is for me. Wearing it has always made me feel beautiful, sexy, and powerful, even when the lace is hidden beneath my clothing and isn’t visible to anyone else.
“C’mon, Quinn, you know that man is gonna lose his shit over anything you choose. He wouldn’t be fucking paying for private sessions if he didn’t like what he saw. Nothing you wear is going to change his opinion of you. Not in a bad way, anyway. If anything, you’re just gonna make the poor guy feral.”
With Becca’s help and another thirty minutes spent browsing and trying things on, I finally manage to find two pieces that I can’t bring myself to choose between. I don’t necessarily have the money to buy more than one new set, but I’m dying to see his reaction.
The woman at the register greets us with a smile and rings Becca up while I pull out my phone and quickly log in to my banking app, checking my balance and trying to justify splurging on the two new lingerie sets. I already paid my prescription delivery service for my supplies this month, but I still have a few bills that I need to catch up on. Then again, changing up what I wear will help bring variety to my account. I’ll just consider this a business expense.
“Miss?” The woman’s voice breaks me from my thoughts.
“I’m sorry. Yes, I’m ready,” I say, stepping forward and laying the two lingerie sets on the counter, each a different shade of pink.
“These are some of my favorite sets that we have. You’re going to love them,” she says, carefully scanning the items, removing any security tags, and wrapping the lingerie in tissue paper before slipping it into a discreet gift bag.
I’m standing with my debit card in hand, ready to swipe it and pay for my items, when she hands me the bag and says, “You’re all set!”
Wait, what?
I turn to Becca, my brows pinched together. “You didn’t have to pay for my stuff.”
She shakes her head and shrugs. “I didn’t.”
“I’m sorry for the confusion, miss. Your boyfriend called a little bit ago and took care of everything. You’re so lucky! I don’t know many men who would bother to spoil their girls like this.” Her smile is bright, a sparkle of jealousy twinkling in her eyes. She’s completely oblivious to the shock that I’m sure is written across my face.
