Page 7 of Haven Bound
Her nose scrunches up as she jumps from the couch and grabs my hand, tugging me up to stand. “Nope! C’mon, go change. If you stay home all you’re going to do is replay everything in your mind. Plus, I may have already told Ethan that we’d meet him there,” she says, her lips pulling into a smile at that last part. Of course she did. Ethan is asmuch family to the Anders’ crew as I am. He was Austin’s best friend all through high school and he’s stepped in to fill the older-brother spot for Hailey in Austin’s absence, though I’d be willing to bet my top-secret chocolate chip cookie recipe that Ethan doesn’t see Hailey as a sister.
Nevertheless, I know she’s right. Iwilllet my mind be absorbed in everything today’s session brought up if I stay home, so I don’t fight her on it. I tug my hand free and head to my bedroom to change.
Thirty minutes later, I’m standing in front of my full-length bedroom mirror wearing a pair of distressed dark-wash jeans that hug my thick thighs and hips in a way that accentuates my full curves. I’ve been firmly in the plus-size category since high school, and it’s taken me a long time to start to love and accept my body. It certainly doesn’t help that I’m not exactly proportionate. Most women who have a soft belly and curves like I do have also been blessed in the breast department, but not me. As if having to find tops that fit properly wasn’t already a struggle, the fact that clothing makers automatically assume that plus-size women have larger breasts makes it exceedingly difficult.
Thankfully, there have been a few exclusively plus-size clothing stores popping up over the past few years that have made it easier for me to at least find bras in the proper size. As much as I protested against going out tonight, I have to admit that putting in the effort to get a little dolled up has already started to lift my spirits and chase away the dark memories plaguing my mind after today’s therapy session.
After pairing a flattering black top with short flutter sleeves and a lace inset at the neck and my favorite black chunky heel ankle boots with the dark jeans, I take a moment to stare at my reflection in the tall mirror. The heel of the ankle boots is just enough to give me a little boost in height but not enough to have me feeling that much taller than I already am. At five-foot-eleven, I’m already taller than most women and don’t need to be standing out even more than I already do.
I styled my long hair in soft curls that drape down my back and decided to do my makeup for a change but kept it fairly neutral with a little foundation, mascara, and a slightly smokey eye in natural tones. Tonight, my outer appearance is my armor.
Lately, I need all of the self-confidence I can get. As if I hadn’t been torn down enough in life, Jason put the icing on the cake with all of the insults he’d throw my way. Breaking me down and making me feel insignificant had become one of his favorite pastimes, and that’s not an easy thing to do considering my height and the fact that I’m rocking all the curves a woman could ever dream of.
Still, he had this way of making me feel incredibly small andworthless, something I swore I’d never let another man make me feel. He always had a dark streak inside of him, but I used to chalk it up to him being the typical bad boy. He even wore a leather jacket and had various tattoos and piercings that accentuated hisbad-boy look.I used to think he would never physically harm me—his words were always his weapon of choice—but with his threats constantly lingering over my head, I’m not so sure anymore.
6
Chelsea
It’s not long beforewe’re standing in line waiting to be let into the club, which seems to be as busy as ever tonight. Club Obsidian is fairly new, having only been open for a couple of years, but with the stress that comes from living in a big city, it’s nice to have somewhere to go where you can let loose and forget about your troubles for a night. Which was always Jason’s argument anytime he wanted to spend our date nights here.
My gaze travels over the crowd of people standing in line around us as Hailey rambles on about how she can’t wait to get out on the dance floor and maybe find someone to spend the night with.
I hate this. I hate crowds.
I feel like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff in anticipation of someone shoving me over. Like there’s a vice around my chest and at any moment all of the air is going to be stolen from my lungs. Dread builds in my stomach at the idea of running into my ex, but it’s quickly erased when ocean-blue eyes collide with mine and my breath catches in my throat.
Austin.
Seeing him again definitely beats a night of comfort show reruns on the couch, even with the mixed emotions of unease and excitement coursing through me. My attention is yanked away from him whenHailey grabs my arm and pulls me forward with her, signaling that it’s our turn to flash our ID’s and head inside.
“Your brother is here,” I mumble as I slip my ID back into my small cross-body purse and follow Hailey in the direction of the bar. Various bottles of alcohol are displayed on black shelves with rope lights making the labels visible.
She looks back over her shoulder in the direction of the door, but they haven’t made it inside yet. “He’s probably staying with Ethan while he's in town.”
Her cheeks take on a pinkish hue when she says Ethan’s name, and I smile knowingly at her. “Or you just hope he’s staying with Ethan because then you’ll have an excuse to go over there.”
Hailey laughs and shoves my shoulder playfully, “Shut up! I do not.” She tucks a strand of brown hair behind her ear as the bartender approaches us.
Mhm. I bet that lie tasted super bitter.
Hailey’s had a crush on Ethan forever. He’s Austin’s best friend, and like me, he was constantly at their house when we were growing up. Ethan’s been as much of a constant in my life as Austin and Hailey and has become like a brother to me. He made it a point to be more present once Austin left. Yet I still haven’t told him or Hailey about all of the things I’ve been battling since I left Jason.
Turning my back to the bar, I find myself scanning the crowd.
I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.
What if he’s here? I should’ve just stayed home, out of sight.
Hailey thanks the bartender and spins to put her back to the bar, mimicking my stance as she hands me a Piña Colada, minusthe rum, and takes a sip from what looks like a Raspberry Daiquiri. As delicious as some of the drinks sound, I can’t bring myself to partake in something that could potentially make me feel out of control.
“C’mon, let’s dance!” she shouts, doing her best to raise her voice above the sound of the crowd and the band that’s playing.
“You go. I don’t want—” I start to say that I don’t want to dance, but she’s already disappeared into the mass of writhing bodies on the dance floor. Heaving a sigh, I take a sip from my sweet pineapple and coconut cream drink and scan the sides of the room for an empty booth, but of course, they’re all full. Except… one of the larger corner booths that's occupied by Austin and Ethan.
Taking a deep breath, I make my way over to their booth. Over to Austin. His eyes immediately find mine as though he can sense me approaching. “Mind if I sit?” I ask, tapping his shoulder to get him to scoot over.
“Hey, Chelsea! You’re not covered in flour for once.” Ethan’s teasing tone eases the nerves coursing through my stomach as I sink into the booth beside Austin.
