Page 29 of Haven Bound
“Chelsea! I’m coming in!” I shout, doing my best to give her a fair warning before I frantically pull the key card from my wallet and press it against the door’s sensor. The light can’t possibly flash green fast enough. When it does, I waste no time shoving through the door.
I’m greeted by an empty room, and my brows furrow in confusion. The curtains have been pulled open just enough for soft light to shine through. The bed is unmade, and the duffle bag that I brought over last night for Chelsea is sitting on the floor beside it, so I know that she’s still here.
“Chels, are you okay?” I call, willing her to answer me and let me know that she’s alright. Pausing for a second, I realize that I can hear the sound of running water. I make my way cautiously towards the large bathroom. The door is cracked open, steam billowing out through the open space from the heat of the water.
I’m giving her one last chance to answer me, and if she doesn’t, I’m going in. “Sunflower,” I call, doing my best to keep the worry out of my voice. A soft whimper carries through the open door. I immediately shove it open to find Chelsea naked and sitting on the floor of the shower. Her back is pressed against the wall, her knees pulled to her chest and her head buried in her hands as the hot water pours over her body, turning her skin a bright red.
I quickly grab a large bath towel and lean into the shower to turn the water off before kneeling to wrap the towel around her. “It’s okay, Sunflower. I’m here now. I’ve got you,” I say softly, rubbing her back and brushing her wet hair away from her face. It takes a few quiet moments with the water off and my hand rubbing along her back before she lifts her head, her green eyes meeting mine but not quite focusing as though she can’t tell whether or not I’m really here.
“Austin?” Her voice shudders, and my heart cracks in my chest.
“Yeah, baby. It’s me. Can I please get you off the floor and into something comfortable?” She gives me a gentle nod as she pulls thetowel around her naked body to cover up, holding it in place with one hand while reaching for me with the other. I take her hand and help her stand up, leading her back into the bedroom. Grabbing the duffle bag I’d thrown together for her the night before, I quickly pull out a clean set of clothes for her.
Last night, I didn’t want to be away from Chelsea any longer than I had to after chasing away who I now know was her ex. But I knew that at some point she’d need something clean and comfortable to change into. I’d stopped by Hailey’s house and quickly thrown a few things from her dresser into a duffle bag, along with one of my t-shirts. I always have a few changes of clean clothes in a bag in any vehicle I’m driving. With my line of work,I never know when I’m going to need to discard my clothing and quickly change into something that isn’t covered in blood.
She keeps the towel held around her body while I help her get dressed, doing my best to keep my eyes from wandering over her mouthwatering curves. Now is not the time to let my mind fill with lascivious thoughts.
Encouraging her to sit down on the side of the bed, I head back into the bathroom to grab her hairbrush and a clean hand towel to dry her hair. When I return, I find Chelsea with her gaze locked on the ground.
This isn’t the first time I’ve seen her succumb to a panic attack, but I’d forgotten what a toll they take on her body and mind. Something I didn’t truly understand until I’d experienced it for myself. She seems to be coming out of it now, but I know that it may still be a little while before she’s coherent enough to have a conversation with me. I approach her slowly and crouch down in front of her, placing one hand on her knee. I use the other to cup her jaw in my palm in hopes that it’ll bring her gaze to mine.
“Can I brush your hair for you, Sunflower?” She once again nods instead of using her words, but it’s enough of a sign that she’s aware of her surroundings. Moving onto the bed behind her, I spread my legs out so that she’s sitting between them as I slowly start to brush out the long strands of her hair.
Minutes pass, and the only sound that fills the space between us is our breathing and the quiet noise from the brush gliding through her damp hair. It’s no longer tangled, but I know how much the sensation calms her. I would sit here for hours brushing her hair if it eased her mind and brought her a sense of peace.
Chelsea’s sweet voice breaks the silence when she whispers, “Why did you leave?” My hand pauses in midair for a second before I set the hairbrush down on the bed beside me. I came in here with the intention of finally telling her everything and yet her question still catches me off guard.
“Last night? You fell asleep, and I figured you needed the rest. I didn’t want to stay with my sister in the room.”
“No, Austin. Why did you leave me? I was in love with you, and youleft me. I thought…” Her voice lowers as she trails off. Even though she’s sitting with her back to me, I know tears are welling in her eyes. I want to say something, to stop whatever train of thought she’s currently spiraling through, but I know that I need to let her get this off her chest. She’s had a rough few days, a rough few years… a roughlife, and holding in these thoughts and emotions is only going to increase her pain, not improve it.
She sucks in a breath and releases it, shaking her head as she continues, “I allowed myself to think, tohope, that you loved me too. I canstill see it so clearly, you know? The day before… we spent the entire day planning all of the things we were going to do together that summer. I thought that after graduation we were finally going to tell everyone we were together. I thought we—” She hunches over, bracing her elbows on her legs, and buries her face in her hands.
I can feel my heart cracking and splintering in my chest with each word that falls from her lips, knowing that my actions led her to feeling like this now. She’s quietly crying now, all of the emotion she’s likely been holding back flooding to the surface. I slip off the bed and place my hand on her shoulder as I kneel to the ground in front of her.
“Chelsea,” I mutter. My right hand finds the back of her neck and rubs gently while my left hand rests on her shoulder, encouraging her to look at me. She slowly shakes her head, soft sobs shuddering from her body.
I can’t fucking take this.
She has no idea how hard I fell for her. Or how leaving her was the equivalent of ripping out my own heart. She has no idea that I had no fucking say in the matter.
It’s the life that I was born into. It’s what I was expected to do. I didn’t know back then about all of the things she had been through. I didn’t know how incredibly strong she was and I didn’t think she could handle walking this journey alongside me.
“Sunflower, please look at me,” I rasp, fighting back tears of my own as this gorgeous woman who owns my heart, body, and soul, this woman who is so kind and brave and strong completely crumbles before me. I move my hands to her wrists now and gently start to pull them from herface. She finally concedes and lowers her hands so that her tear-filled eyes meet mine.
Kneeling on the ground at her feet, I hold her hands in mine and prepare to confess everything.
23
Austin
I’ve played out myconfession to Chelsea in my mind hundreds of times over the years, but in every vision, she’s always been this sweet delicate flower and not the incredibly strong woman that sits before me.
If I had known then what I know now, I never would have left without asking her to come with me or, at the very least, to attempt something long-distance with me. I would have come home as often as possible. I would have arranged for her to fly out to me, wherever I was. If I'm being honest, there were times over the years when I could have come home to Haven Beach.
But I was afraid.
I was afraid I would return and find that her life had moved on without me as though our time together never mattered. I was afraid I would return and find Chelsea happily married, maybe with children. That thought alone was enough to keep me away. I knew that I would be devastated if I came back to Haven Beach and found her living a happy love-filled life without me, even though I knew that’s exactly what she deserved.
