Page 44 of The Night Ride
“I’d simply ply you with more food and alcohol, and then I would launch my sneak attack.”
“I don’t regret this, Beth.But I worry that you want more than I can give you.”
I frowned.“I’m not sure what you mean.”
Except deep down I did.He didn’t want to be with me beyond our horizontal tango session.I saw it in his eyes.My heart clenched as reality set in.
He wanted me.He enjoyed being with me.But he was holding himself back from me.Denying us the chance to build something between us.
“I’m not in a space for a relationship.I don’t know if I will ever be.If you want to continue with me, I need you to understand, I’m not there yet and need you to be patient.”
My heart cracked.Yet I played it off as if I wasn’t dying a little inside as my perfect fantasy bubble burst.
“Who said anything about a relationship?We had sex, Aiden.I didn’t ask you for a lifetime commitment.I know your type is the for a good time call.We can enjoy each other’s company until you leave.”
He withdrew body and mind.His face shuttered.“It’s not that.I just, shit, I’m bad at this type of thing.”
“You don’t want anything beyond casual.I’m good with that.I mean, you’re only here a few more days, anyway.It’s not like I asked for your undying love.”But I wanted it.Oh god, did I ever want it.I thought that being with him would expunge him from my heart and soul.Instead, it had done the opposite.For it had ensured, no matter where I went or what I did, he would always be a part of me.
“You deserve more.”
I did.Legions more.But long ago I realized that I cared more deeply than most.It was a me problem.Although I never understood fully why I was never chosen but couldn’t dwell on it.I sat up on the couch.My body still hummed from the epic double orgasm even as my heart cracked.“I get to decide what I deserve, not you.We both wanted this.I still want you.And my feelings are my problem.We can enjoy each other’s company while you’re here.”
Because then he would leave.And by the look in his eyes, I doubted he would return.
I swore to myself it would be enough.How many women got to have a love affair with the man they’d been crushing on since high school?I’d bet it wasn’t a lot.Once he left, I could pack this crush away and move on with someone else.
Because if all I had were a few days with him, I didn’t want to miss a moment.“I think we should enjoy whatever time we have together until you leave.”
Aiden assessed me, looking finer than he had a right too.“If you’re sure, because fuck I want you again.”
“Then what are you waiting for?”
“I want you in a bed and not just on the couch.”He hoisted me into his arms.I laughed, letting myself sink into the moment, and let him carry me upstairs to my bedroom.
Because I knew something he didn’t—I’d been in love with Aiden Miller since I was fifteen.And there was no protecting my heart from the coming break.I barreled toward the waterfall, anyway.
Chapter fifteen
Inthemorning,Iwoke in a strange bed as memories of the night flashed through my brain.
I’d betrayed Evan.It didn’t matter that he was dead and buried.Because I’d slept with the guy’s sister.Multiple times.She was a drug in my veins.An oasis from the dark forces I battled every time I was shipped overseas.
Being with her, feeling her around me, witnessing the trust she displayed in me, knowing what she’d been through, humbled me.
I wished I could give her more.
But I’d gone the long-distance route before with my marriage.It crashed and burned in spectacular fashion.And I was unwilling to traverse that path again.
Beth deserved so much better than me.I knew it.Yet it wasn’t going to keep me from her bed any longer.I wanted her too fiercely, with a desire that rattled my foundation.
I rose, trying not to think of her.Yet it was hard when her sent surrounded me.I could smell her on me.
I headed into the shower.Beth had left early this morning.She’d told me not to get up.And I gave her space.Mainly because I needed it.Choosing to head back to the oblivion of sleep rather than deal with the consequences of our actions.
Because I wanted her again.
It didn’t seem possible.I never stuck around after a tryst or wanted more.But Beth was different.She gave even when it would be in her best interest not to.
