With some difficulty Helia managed to get out of her wedding dress. She reached for the dressing gown, but stopped short of taking it off the hook. It was her wedding day and, while it might not have been the day she had dreamed of, why shouldn’t she enjoy what came with it? She might have a reluctant groom, but he wasn’t here now, and all indications were that she wouldn’t see him again that day. She would never have been able to afford such a fine item before becoming Queen, so she marched back into the bedroom and slipped the chemise over her head, luxuriating in the way the fabric kissed her skin as it slid down her body.
She sat on the edge of the bed, taking the fabric between her fingers. There would be a lot to get used to now. Not least of all a husband who had little interest in her despite her attraction to him. That kiss during the ceremony had taken her by surprise. She had anticipated that Vasili might try to avoid it, or perhaps give her a peck on the cheek. But that kiss... It had robbed her of breath and clouded her mind. She had been intoxicated by his presence. His scent. The feel and taste of him. She had forgotten where they stood, giving in to the liquid heat consuming her.
If she closed her eyes, she could feel the phantom warmth from his fingers still ghosting across her cheek. She could have sworn that his eyes had darkened. That he’d been as breathless as her. But then she remembered it was she who was attracted to him. Any feelings from that kiss had been one-sided. After all, she had been the one to notice a handsome prince...he had never noticed an invisible librarian...
Until he did.
Vasili was simply playing a part. As much as she thought she might possibly grow to love him, there was no good outcome to losing her heart to Vasili. She could allow herself to enjoy his touches, but she had to remember it was all a show. Because he would not be married to her if he had been given a choice.
Would he ever have noticed her if she hadn’t been in the library that day? What if one of the library assistants had been there instead of her? Would they be sitting in this room now? She suspected she knew the answer to that. After all, she was not good enough for the Prince who was now King. No one in the palace seemed to think she would be an adequate queen.
Helia ripped the tiara from her hair and tossed it upon the dresser. Had she made a mistake? Or was she just letting the fact that Vasili had walked out unsettle her?
He’s not the reason you’re doing this, she reminded herself.
But she had to acknowledge that that was only half true. Her attraction to him was part of the reason, but the biggest part was that she would finally achieve her goal. Helping people like her was something she had always wanted to do, and she had vowed to find a way one day. Well, one day was here. She had chosen this union with her eyes open in order to serve her wants. So she would not second-guess herself simply because her husband needed space.
And it was obvious that he did.
From the moment the coronation ceremony had commenced Vasili had become withdrawn. There had been a haunted look in his eyes when he’d helped her out of the carriage that he hadn’t been able to cover up in time. What if it wasn’t just her but also this place that he’d needed to leave so urgently?
Helia had seen that he understood her addition to the vows, but maybe he needed to know that she would be on his side. This marriage needn’t be a trap to make him miserable.
She would give him tonight, but tomorrow they would find a way to turn the crown into something they could both live with.
CHAPTER FIVE
THESUNHADbarely risen. There would be little sign of life in the palace. But Vasili was already fixing the cufflinks on his shirt and pulling on his coat. He had contemplated his next move for most of the night. There were things that had to be done that neither he nor Helia could change, but he had to think bigger than just the next steps. Ground rules had to be outlined for their marriage. Boundaries neither of them would break. It was the best course of action for both of them.
First, he would have to apologise for his abrupt departure after the wedding. It had not been his finest moment, but Vasili was glad he had taken the time to sort through his thoughts.
Picking up his phone, Vasili called down to the kitchen. The one place that would already be hard at work.
‘We will not be eating in the dining hall. Have breakfast sent to the room,’ he instructed, not having to clarify which room he meant. He was supposed to have spent the night with his new wife. No one knew that he had instead spent the time in this room.
Hiding out.
He banished the thought. He wasn’t hiding. He was strategising.
He had no idea how Helia would react, and hoped a calm chat over breakfast in private would lead to her easy acquiescence.
With that thought Vasili left his room and made his way through the quiet halls to the King’s room.Hisroom.
He knocked twice and turned the knob, expecting that Helia would likely still be in bed given the hour. But when he entered he found her hurriedly shrugging on a satin peignoir.
As quickly as she tried to cinch the belt around her waist, Vasili still caught sight of the gossamer fabric of her chemise beneath. Arousal flared bright in his gut. All thought had been wiped from his mind save one: to kiss her. The blush creeping up her neck did nothing to quash his reaction. He wanted to peel that peignoir away. To see how far that blush travelled. Kiss her again like he’d done at the altar, but this time find out where that road would lead.
Vasili had slept badly, and when he had, he had dreamt of her. In his arms. In his room. For just a second his willpower to keep her at a distance wavered. He could show her such pleasure. He wanted to know more about her. Was desperate to. That desperation broke through the haze of want. Getting to know her, being intimate with her, exposing himself to her, was forbidden.
No one wants you like that.Shewouldn’t want you like that.
Of course she wouldn’t. That was why he couldn’t give her any reason to think they could be a normal married couple. They weren’t. Not by any stretch of the imagination. More than that, he couldn’t let her think that they could fall in love. Because he didn’t love, had never been loved. It wasn’t in his genetic make-up.
That didn’t mean they needed to live a life without passion.
Vasili cleared his throat. ‘I’m glad you’re awake. We have a lot to talk about.’
‘Good morning to you too, Your Majesty,’ Helia sniped.