Page 67 of 2 Books in One Bundle
Helia swallowed thickly. Vasili had spoken his thoughts—his doubts—and in doing so had shown her it was safe for her to express hers, even if it made her uncomfortable.
‘It seems to me that you do not wish to marry.’ Whether it was to marry her or marry in general, she didn’t know. She couldn’t blame him for not wanting her, she was entirely ordinary compared to him—the antithesis to the women he was normally seen with. ‘Surely you could choose not to. You are King and you are entitled to grieve.’
Vasili shook his head, a sombre look passing over his features. ‘If only that were true. It’s best you find out now that being a royal doesn’t leave you with much room for choice. This...’ he waved his hand between them ‘...will be the last big decision you get to make on your own. Everything you do from now on, everything you say, will be watched and dissected. Andreas and Carissa are only the start of it. I made a reckless pronouncement that affects you...how much time did you get before you were forced to make a decision? How much choice were you given?’
He was right. She hadn’t been given much choice or any time to digest what had happened. And once she’d agreed she had been almost immediately brought to the King. She was in a tailspin, fighting to gain control. But she had had no choices most of her life. She’d had to survive. And even though she was finally comfortable and thriving, she knew she could survive again.
‘Even as a commoner you don’t get many choices. You have to make do with what you’re dealt.’ She hoped she’d hidden the deep sorrow that lanced through her.
‘Don’t call yourself that. Andreas may have certain ideas about tradition and propriety, but I do not share them. There is nothing common about you.’
The vehemence in his words had Helia’s heart skipping a beat. He made her feel off balance, and she desperately wanted to believe that he thought her something special. It was beginning to dawn on her just how out of her depth she truly was. Wishing to share a moment with Vasili should have been the last thing on her mind—she should be singularly focussed on what it meant to be Queen. Who she was doing this for.
All that thought did was make her panic.
‘If you agree to this, Helia, it will not be an easy life.’
‘Life isn’t easy anyway.’
She bit her lip to stop herself saying more and his gaze flashed to her mouth, darkening. The atmosphere between them seemed to change. Become charged with something intoxicating. Her eyes darted to his lips, but quickly flicked up, meeting his. Heat flared within her.
‘No, it isn’t.’ Vasili’s voice came low and raspy. ‘I didn’t intend for you to get caught up in this battle. The decision I made was meant to do nothing more than—’
‘Shock?’ she offered, forgetting herself, lost in his golden-brown gaze.
Vasili’s lips twitched with a suppressed smile. ‘Yes. And just meant to earn me a reprieve.’
‘The next few weeks are going to be difficult,’ he warned, curling his fingers around the edge of the table to stop himself from reaching out to Helia.
‘I expect so. But I’m not backing out of this.’
It was barely above a whisper.
‘Why?’
She looked away, her fingers fidgeting, and for a moment he thought she wouldn’t answer.
‘A lot of people helped me. As Queen, I can be there for them and so many more. No one else cares about them, but I do.’
‘You will lose any semblance of a life. Your career. Is that what you want?’
She continued to stare down at her hands. He wanted to force her to look at him.
When she answered, her voice was strong. ‘No, it’s not. But we can only work with the cards we are dealt. May I ask you a question?’
‘Of course.’
‘You don’t want to get married...’
‘No, I don’t. I probably never will want that.’
‘Then whatdoyou want?’
It was the question Vasili had wanted to hear all his life. It was sad that the only person to ask was someone with no power to change anything. Still, he’d promised her honesty, so he would answer.
‘To leave. The throne...this kingdom. All of it.’
‘Then why don’t you?’
