Page 114 of 2 Books in One Bundle
It wasn’t long after that when she was thanking everyone for attending and inviting them all to stay for as long as they liked. Vasili didn’t challenge her as she took centre stage, all the while looking like a king who didn’t bother himself with the opinions of anyone.
A lion in his den.
When they finally left, she kept silent until the door to their bedroom had clicked shut.
‘Vasili, we need to talk.’
She watched him take a deep breath, then remove his sash and walk up to her. Gently, he removed the heavy crown from her head and took her hands in his.
‘Helia, I want you to know how well you did tonight.’
‘Thank you,’ she said, and felt a crack forming within her as she steeled herself to say what she needed to.
She stepped away from his reach, knowing how weak she was for his touch. But not even that could stop her now.
‘Thank you for allowing me to share in this life, Vasili, but it’s time we faced reality.’
‘What do you mean?’
He tried reaching for her again, but Helia shook her head and watched his hand drop.
‘This life that we agreed to...it isn’t going to work. For the kind of life you want to live, you don’t need a queen.’
The words shattered the heart that she had exposed to him as if it was made of nothing but glass. Her vision was blurry, but she refused to cry.
‘Helia—’
There was a flash of panic on his face that made it hard for her to speak, but she powered through it.
‘I agreed to marry you for two reasons: the first being my need to help the orphanage, to help those who never get a chance to live the life Thalonia offers to its wealthy, the forgotten. And the second reason, Vasili, was you. I had admired you for so long, but those feelings paled in comparison to the way I felt seeing you with my people...how I feel about you now. But I realise that isn’t enough.’
‘Helia, you knew what this was,’ Vasili said, his face a carefully blank mask.
‘I did. But I also know that I deserve more than a lonely existence and a loveless marriage.’ She stepped forward, placing her palm on his cheek. A single tear rolled down her own. ‘You’re a good man. A great king. And I know you’ll see our project through.’
‘Of course, I will. But Helia—’
‘But nothing, Vasili. We both deserve more from this life, and I hope one day you will find it in you to let someone past your walls.’
Helia had known loving him would be a risk. She’d taken it anyway. And now, even though she tried to hold herself together, and even though she knew she was doing the right thing, her heart felt as if it was being ripped out of her chest.
‘My advisors were right. You aren’t an appropriate queen, because an appropriate queen wouldn’t be good...like you. I wanted this to work.’
‘So did I. Goodbye, Vasili.’
He held her gaze. Gritting his teeth.
Without a word, he turned around and left.
Helia waited until she heard the outer door close before she set herself into motion. Her heart in pieces, she could barely breathe through the agonising fracture carving through her.
She had to get out.
As quickly as she could, she gathered only the belongings that she would need and then left the King’s quarters, slipping through the interconnecting door into a room she hadn’t set foot in.
The unfamiliar surroundings were a small comfort. There were no memories here. No hope. No laughter or stories shared. And that helped her keep control over her shattering emotions. Without much thought, she stepped under the shower, needing to wash Vasili’s scent away. The memories would be punishment enough. She didn’t need to smell him on herself as if he was beside her. He wouldn’t be again.
With ruthless efficiency she scrubbed at her skin and her hair. Once she was done, she went in search of a bag, but she found only one. It would do. Helia stuffed her clothes in it, paying attention only to the next task and the next. It was the only way she could think around the pain in her chest.
