Page 68 of The Player Penalty
I throw an arm over his shoulder, which is immediately shrugged off. “There’s always another opportunity.”
“Both of you at once,” Boone says.
“I’m going to win today,” says Jake.
His unending positivity bothers Boone in a way I’ve never entirely managed. Jake doesn’t even do it on purpose; he’s genuinely a sunshine and rainbows kind of guy.
“You’re going to try,” I say.
“I’m going to succeed.” Jake delivers another grin.
They actually believe they have a shot, and they’re wrong because it’s their wives driving the go-karts, and the two of them do not care, not even a little. Sarah and Maddie threw the race last year to blunt their competitive streak. In a shocking twist that surprised no one, it didn’t work. Boone discovered Sarah and Jake were in a relationship thirty seconds after the race ended, and that started up a fresh round of oneupmanship. Luckily for me, I witnessed it from the sidelines.
We will win today because I have a secret weapon: Lily Webb. She kicks my ass in Mario Kart and then carries that same instinct into go-karts. She can maneuver incredibly well in the little things and completely trusts every instruction I give her.
Great friends make great teams.
“You’re both welcome to try,” I say to them both and flash a cocky grin of mine. “You know what they say about second place and first loser, right? See you after the race.”
“What the fuck, man?” Jake says to my retreating back.
“We’re going to kick your ass,” Boone calls out.
I turn to face them, take a few steps back, and indicate one and then the other. “First loser. Second loser. Same thing.”
At least they’ll work together this one time.
Occasionally, a fan or fellow racer will assume I’m less competitive or capable. I don’t get into brawls like Jake and Boone once did, and I never sound off in front of the cameras. That doesn’t change the fact that one of my greatest pleasures in life is destroying everyone else on the race track.
Well, that and making love to Lily.
∞∞∞
The course is simple, lacking the imaginary world of cheese found in a specific video game. It’s a dirt course with hay bales and a lane only three karts wide. They need to be able to pass, after all.
“How are we doing?” she calls through the headset.
“Take this turn and then the inner lane,” I say, following her movements through my binoculars. The things aren’t necessary, but they add an element of fun to the entire affair. “I don’t know who it is. She gets nervous when someone approaches. She’ll slow, and that’s your chance.”
“Pedal to the metal. Pressing down on the throttle.” Lily squeals as she moves up one more spot.
Who knew she enjoyed racing metaphors more than me?
“Got her. Now hold the center.”
“You think we can spin anyone out?”
I laugh at her question. Lily’s competitive streak comes out exactly one day a year, and I get to witness it up close. “There isn’t enough room. I can get you in another car if that’s what you want.”
“Negative.”
I check out other parts of the track and notice two karts moving side by side. The numbers on their back aren’t visible, but that isn’t necessary. Like I said, it doesn’t matter what Jake and Boone want if their partners aren’t willing to play along.
Boone is yelling while Jake is quieter, but his frantic hand movements tell enough of a story. Clowns. Both of them.
“Next turn is clear, and then it’s time to come in for the pit stop.”
∞∞∞
