Page 86 of The Player Penalty
I suck in a breath because we’re both so new at this. My life experiences are as limiting as hers, only in slightly different ways. “We were friends and then best friends. You were the person I wanted around and the one I selfishly didn’t want to share. Do you remember when I confessed to feeling very possessive of you earlier this season?”
“That was months ago. You went to tell another woman that you were picking me, and I got so jealous that I bailed on you.”
We both smile over the memory as the passage of time gives it a humorous bent. “This is new for us both. That feeling back then, that sense of you belonging with me, it’s been growing for a very long time, and it still is.”
It’s the feeling I’ve been puzzling over. It’s foreign and strange, something I’ve no experience with. My parents married decades ago, and any sign of romance or affection between them was rare. It’s difficult to recognize love when you’ve never been allowed to witness it. It’s even worse when you spend several years avoiding it.
Time to take another risk. “I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. I love you, Lily. I’m in love with you and have been for a while. Do you know how wonderful it is to be in this world withsomeone you love and think maybe she loves you back? Because if you did, then you’d know there will never come a time when I say you’re too much or we should stop those birth control pills.” I shut up because that conversation might happen someday. “That won’t happen because I love you, Lily. Like the flower.”
“You mean it?” Lily leans forward, and I smile as her lips touch mine. “You mean it,” she says, and it’s not a question this time.
I pull her over me so Lily’s body is half-splayed across mine. “Very much so. The hope was you might say it back.”
“I love you, too. Dr. Lambert once asked if I had feelings for you, and I refused because that’s silly.”
“We’re silly, now?”
“Always. But she asked, and it made me wonder. You’ve been my best friend, Julian, and it didn’t occur to me that would change.”
“Then I took my clothes off for you.” That will forever be one of the most erotic and intimate moments in my life. Stripping down so Lily could explore and touch at her own pace is still imprinted on my mind. She trusted me that night, and I hope I always deserve it.
“You gave me control over our relationship, and that’s why I brought up the pill.”
“Turning myself over to you paid off, didn’t it?”
“Did you plan that?” Lily asks.
“I decided several weeks ago to follow wherever you lead me.”
She lays over me so her hair partially covers us both. Lily strokes my jaw and lips, so I kiss her fingertips.
“We should stay awake a little longer,” she says.
Both of us were tired on the drive home from tonight’s race, keeping up a stream of chatter to stay alert, with her driving most of it to give me a break from an uncooperative car.
“I’m wide awake.”
31-Lily
Rivers Motorsports Headquarters, North Carolina
It’s summer, and this day gave us a soft breeze and a mild sun. I step off the bus and find Maddie waiting for me. As we’d discussed, she’s wearing jeans and a black-collared shirt.
“There are two buses. Are there more kids than planned?” she asks.
“No, there are 32 total. We have more than twice the typical number of parent volunteers. When the permission slips were sent home, and they saw the destination, several were suddenly available to volunteer,” I say.
“Got it. Well, they might enjoy the museum at least. We can get some autographs for anyone that wants it, too.”
Ms. Terry exits the bus while Boone and Julian exit the front door.
I offer quick introductions, and Ms. Terry says, “You’re the gentleman who gave us tickets to Charlottesville a couple of weeks ago.”
“Yes, m’am. Did you enjoy the race?” Julian’s flirty smile comes out before he bites down on his lower lip. On me, the gesture would be a nervous tic. On him, it’s just sexy.
“Oh, my husband was cheering you on the entire time.”
Julian took home another win at Charlottesville and took first in points. Afterward, Ms. Terry shared that her husband placed a bet on one of those betting websites that Julian would win the regular-season championship.
