Page 53 of Purgatory
I feel myself start to pass out and make a last-ditch effort to try to wake him up by kicking the side table. The movement makes the lamp fall and crash to the hardwood floor with a loud smash, the ceramic fragments scattering on the floor and at our feet. The noise must have jarred something because he, suddenly, blinks his eyes, taking in his surroundings as if he just teleported in and doesn’t know where or what time he’s landed. When he looks back to me, back to his hands around my throat, he gasps and takes a step back, releasing me to fall with a thud to the floor, gasping for air and clutching my throat.
The bedroom door slams open then. Both Hawk and Cole stand in the doorway looking at Jax and then at me. Sadie’s right behind them. She must have rushed into the hallway to wake them up when I opened the door and came in. I was so worried about Jax that I didn’t even notice her leave.
“Holy fuck, what the hell happened?” Cole pushes past Jax and kneels beside me. He prods at my neck and I wince as his fingers press at what I know must be finger shaped bruises on my flesh. I try to tell him I’m ok but the words won’t come out right. Just garbled hoarseness, as I continue to cough, my lungs burning for air.
“Don’t try to talk. It's gonna be ok. I’ve got you,” Cole says as he stays by me, holding my hand and looks back to Jax and Hawk.
Hawk is still by the doorway but slowly inches his way to Jax as if he’s a wild animal about to attack. Seems like it’s a good tactic considering how Jax is reacting. He’s pacing now, mouth agape, his hands in his hair, fingers pulling at the roots.
“Hey man, just breath.” Hawk says softly and reaches a hand out towards Jax’s shoulder. Jax pushes his arm away andstalks to the other side of the room. Hawk looks to me and Cole.
“She ok?” Hawk nods towards me, trying to keep his voice low. Cole nods back as he squeezes my hand in his, drawing soothing circles on the back of it and pulling my body closer to his, covering me in a protective embrace.
We all look toward where Jax has now stopped pacing. He looks at each of them and then directly at me, meeting my eyes. Regret fills his gaze as a single tear falls down his cheek. His words a shaky timber with enough resonance to create an earthquake in my soul.
“I am so sorry, Alessandra... I didn’t... I shouldn’t have... please forgive me...”
He looks back at Cole and Hawk, solid resolve blanketing his features. “I have to go... I can’t stay here... I need... please... just... keep her safe.” And with that he grabs a sweatshirt and his shoes and exits the room in a rush. A few minutes later we hear the front door open and slam shut, fast feet pounding on the gravel as he runs down the driveway and away from the estate. The rest of us remain in his bedroom, speechless.
Chapter 35
Hawk
The sun is setting earlier and faster as the days go by. Cole, Aly and I are out on the porch enjoying, what could be, the last days of warmth as fall makes its presence known. Winters here aren’t that bad, but they still make you yearn for the summer sun so we tend to soak it up while we can. Both Cole and myself are relaxed back into the Adirondack chairs while Aly claimed the porch swing to herself. She's lying down on it, letting it, lightly, swing in the breeze, her one leg dangling off the front while her arm covers her eyes.
It’s been three weeks since Jax left. That night was fucked. Finding Aly like that. Absolutely terrified. When I saw her, fuck,Iwas terrified. The marks Jax left on her neck lasted a few days and made my blood boil every time I looked at them, as well as the overwhelming need to protect and care for Aly.
We haven’t left the estate since. We had enough supplies here so there’s been no need. Yet. We’re gonna have to make a trip soon though. Plus, after the incident, Aly’s been a bit off. Understandably so. Ever since Jax’s episode, she's been consistently waking up in the middle of the night, terror filling her eyes. But whenever one of us offers to stay in the room with her, she refuses, so Cole and I have been taking shifts outside of her door, to be with her when the nightmares become too much.
You can see she’s sad during the day. She says she’s not but every so often one of us will see her standing outside ofJax’s room, just standing there looking in longingly, or we’ll see her looking out the window facing the driveway. I think she’s hoping he’ll come back. It’s obvious she misses him. I get it, we do too. So, we decided it was best to lay low and recoup.
Aly sighs, kicking her foot off the ground, getting the swing to move more. “Where do you think he went?”
Both Cole and I know exactly where he would go. We just haven’t said anything since this is the first time she asked and we didn’t want to remind her of that night until she was ready to talk. We knew this was going to come up, but we knew Jax needed his space, also. Needed to let his demons out. We’ve all been there. So overwhelmed by everything that you feel like you’re going to explode. So, we took a step back and let him do his thing. Cole answers her question.
“He has a bug-out spot just south of here at the other end of the lake about 10-15 miles away. It’s nothing much. Just a small bungalow he got just in case shit hit the fan. But don’t worry, it’s fully stocked and has a wood stove and a generator. He’ll be fine.”
Cole picks up his sweet tea and takes a sip, looking out over the front yard towards the gate. I can tell he misses him too. Same as me.
Luckily, we’ve prepped for something similar to this.
The Bug Out.
If we ever got separated or needed to evacuate the estate, refer to The Bug Out Plan. Besides the bungalow being stocked and ready to go, we have our guns, that are always on us wherever we go, and some awesome 2-way radios that work up to thirty miles away from each other. Those bad ass little bastards are kept in our tactical bags that are always staged right by the front door. These bags are filled with a variety of survival gear, you know, just in case.
*The Bugout Bag*
2-way radio
(Battery powered)
Flashlight
(Also battery powered ‘cause we couldn’t find the awesome hand crank ones after all this shit went down)
Batteries
(Duh...)
