Page 34 of Purgatory
I had never given the concept of multiple lovers any thought. Traditional teachings tell us it’s a 1:1 ratio. Anything more than that was taboo and uncouth and not to happen in normal society. But why not? Just because you have feelings for one doesn’t mean you couldn’t possibly have equal feelings for another? Maybe together, they completed each other. Each one providing an essential trait that the other didn’t.
I think back to the new men in my life and what they each offer me. I think about Cole. The “Doc.” He’s a fixer, notjust of cuts and scrapes but of the mind too. I spoke so easily with him the other day and he made everything seem so simple. He calmed me and reassured me which is something definitely needed amidst all of the chaos around us.
I think about Hawk. The “Joker.” How he made me laugh when I was feeling down. How selfless and caring he is. When he looks at me, all it does is makes me want to smile. It’s effortless. Plus, he’s just plain fun. A free spirit just floating along for the ride, looking at the best in every situation.
Then there’s Jax. The “Dark Knight.” The guardian. While he blatantly expressed that he didn’t want anything to occur between us romantically, the feelings are still there, however platonic they may be. And that’s ok. He still makes me feel the safest out of all of them.
As I continue to think back on the days since they found me, I can’t help but smile and wish for continued good days in the future. At this point, I can’t seem to think about how my life would have even continued without them in it. The thought should scare me. How did I get so wrapped up in life here with them so quickly? How did I become so dependent? But it is the way it is. Sometimes life happens and instead of fighting its current, you just go with it. Let the wave take you where you need to go. And right now? I think I’m right where I belong.
Chapter 23
Cole
My hands are busy washing the dishes and pans left from dinner but my eyes follow Aly as she leaves the kitchen and heads for the stairs to turn in for the night. Lately, I can’t seem to keep my eyes off of her. Even before discussing everything with Hawk and Jax. Sure, I was skeptical when we first encountered her, but after we got her home and I was able to just observe her without Hawk talking my ear off, things abruptly took a turn in the opposite direction. It was like a beacon of light lit up the sky and the wayward sailor in me was drawn to it like a ship to harbor. To home.
That’s what she seems to have become to me. Home. Nowadays, I’m even more eager to get back to the estate the second we leave it every morning. Not because I don’t want to go scavenging or patrolling, but because of Aly’s proximity. I can't stand being away from her. Like a rubber band being pulled taught, the further away I am, the more recoil and need there is to get back to her as fast as I can. And it’s never fast enough.
After I finish washing the dishes, I dry my hands off and move to sit at the counter to wait as Hawk finishes towel drying. I turn and nod to Jax as he silently sits by me. He’s been quiet lately. Not quiet, like, on edge as he was before, but more somber. It’s almost as if he’s succumbed to his circumstances and the recent events which upturned our lives and is finding peace with all of it. I’m happy for him. Peace is all any of uscan ever hope to find, made even more difficult when we’re surrounded by chaos. Try holding a candle in a hurricane- it's damn near impossible unless you’re somehow able to block out the wind and keep the fire burning.
I know Aly being here isn’t the easiest for him. And our joint declaration regarding Hawk’s and my intended courtships with her doesn’t help either, I’m sure. But surprisingly, he seems to be taking it all with grace. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him like this and it makes me wonder if maybe Aly is actually good for him too, whether she’s an intimate part of his life or not. Platonic relationships have sometimes been known to bloom into the closest of relationships. I wonder if his views towards Aly have evolved as well.
“Meh... what’s up, Doc?” Hawk says after he plops unceremoniously onto my lap, rubbing his ass on me for good measure and making himself more comfortable. Why? Who knows. He’s always been this way. I’ve just learned to love his crazy, spontaneous ass and his hijinks over the years. I just go with it at this point.
“Keep squirming on me like that and you’ll find out soon enough.” I grunt out as he swivels his hips one last time and grins like the cat that got the canary before moving to his own stool. I swear, one of these days I’m going to unleash a side of myself that he’s never seen and his bratty ass won’t be ready for it. Or he will be and then we’ll have evenmorethings that will need to be discussed. But that can wait for another day. Priorities.
I turn to Jax and give him the news we learned this morning. “Caught sight of a swarm traveling by the water’s edge today. Luckily it was the tail end or else we’d be having a much different conversation. Looked like they were moving south but figured we’d let you know anyways so you could double check the perimeter on that side when you got thechance.”
“I check ‘em every day. They’re good to go. But, yea, I’ll make that area my first priority when I run my checks in the morning. Thanks for the heads up.” He nods. His confidence in his perimeter checks is reassuring but that’s not all the news I have to give, unfortunately.
“There was also another sighting of that gang...” He knows which one. There’s only one in the area. And only one we’ve been monitoring. Bunch of assholes if you ask me. I hate them even more for what they did today. “They were caught in their truck in the middle of the swarm but decided to leave a woman behind so they could escape. Fucking dicks. We would have tried to save the woman if we could have but she was gone before they even abandoned her. Fucking got bit by one as she was trying to push them off the side of the truck.”
“Shitty ass way to go,” Hawk says shaking his head, clenching his jaw. “For anyone.”
Jax remains quiet, turning over the information we’ve given him. It's a lot to take in. Even if we knew about both threats, it’s still not good news. And I know it’s made even worse because of what happened just before we got here a few months back with his ex. I didn’t want to bring this up to him, knowing it could be a trigger, but communication is important, and this information is a definite need to know. Threats are prevalent and we need to be vigilant about them.
After a few minutes of contemplation, he gives his orders. “Alright, let’s, uh... let’s continue as is. You said the swarm is headed south so we should have a few weeks before they head back this way, if they even do. As for the gang, seeing as they just lost one of their group, I doubt they’ll be all that eager to return anytime soon,” he sighs before continuing. “It's not like they can return to get her body to bury her. By now she would have either been turned completely and joined with the swarm or there’s nothing left of her. We should be goodto keep doing as we’ve been doing, just... stay sharp, as always when you’re out and about and take the necessary precautions as needed. You guys know what to do.”
Hawk and I both nod at Jax’s orders. While he may not be the boss of us, or outrank either of us, he’s taken on the role. He’s damn good at it too so you won’t see me or Hawk try to usurp his position as head of the household. Nope. He can have that job. I can happily use my dominant side elsewhere. Which brings me to my next talking point.
“If that’s the case, then I think I’d like to take Aly out on patrol tomorrow. She’s been stuck at the house for a while now, might be good to let her stretch her legs a bit. Plus, seeing as there was just a threat today and the likelihood of another is slim to none, tomorrow might be the best time to do so, safety-wise.”
Hawk looks taken aback by my request. “What the hell am I supposed to do then?” He looks between Jax and myself, like a little puppy who doesn’t know what to do with himself all day. As if there isn’t anything that needs to be done in and around the house all day, every day.
“There’s always laundry that needs to be done. You can jump on that first thing tomorrow after you’re done fishing.” Jax replies.
“Laundry?! Oh, come on. He gets to hang out with Aly all day long while I’m here washing your dirty tighty whities? How is that fair?” Hawk points to me accusingly as he whines and pouts like his ice cream just fell off his cone.
“Ok. First of all, we all wear boxer briefs... you know this. Hell, Cole rarely wears any at all anymore so why’re you bitching? Most of it will be Aly’s anyways since I've been doing my own,” Jax interjects.
“Aly’s, huh?” Hawk says stroking his chin thoughtfully. The thought of him rummaging through her dirty underwearis a little unnerving but who am I to judge someone’s kinks. I certainly have enough of my own to rival anyone else’s. But that little tidbit seemed to have changed his tune. Maybe this will sweeten the deal.
“How about I make sure Aly and I get back early enough so you two can hang out for a few hours before dinner? Sound fair now?”
Hawk nods his acceptance, tapping on the kitchen counter as if it were a gavel at an auction. “That’s better. Deal. Let’s go with that.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Jax says and I smile at the both of them.
Sounds like a plan indeed. I finally get to have some quality one on one time with Aly away from the house and away from any distractions. I’ve been able to subtly infiltrate myself into her daily routine, leaving flowers here and there with little notes, but it’s never enough. It never fully depicts how I feel about her. But an outing. An outing with just the two of us is just the place to show her how I feel without being worried about one of the guys interrupting.
