Page 14 of Purgatory
I can see the plea in his eyes and automatically begin to feel my surrender. I’ve been on my own for too long. I crave human interaction. Crave it. I have it now, within my grasp and I'm so grateful. So utterly,devastatinglygrateful. Tears begin to prick my eyes as I lift my lids to gaze back into his beautiful aqua blues. He looks as though he’s peering into my soul, begging for my reconsideration, to trust him and the others. I can’t control it. Overwhelming, silent sobs wrack my chest and threaten to crack it wide open. He has no idea the level of relief this brings me.
With tears barraging my face, I nod. “Thank you... so much...” I pull my hands up to cover my face and the mess my emotions are making of it.
“Hey, come here. It’s ok. Shhhh. Please don’t cry.” He makes his way onto the bed, sitting just to my side. Taking hold of my shoulders he pulls me closer to him, gently bringing me into his strong embrace. I sink into it readily and he holds me close while slightly rocking us both. His hands come around my back and brush over my hair and shoulders.
It’s a hug. A simple hug. Innocent. Platonic. But how long has it been since I’ve had one? I don’t even remember. That thought alone makes my heart ache even more, making me turn my face into his chest as a second round of emotionaloffloading begins. It feels like a purge. Catharsis. Like all of my pent-up stress, frustration, and hopelessness is being dumped out of me and onto this poor, amazing man. But he doesn’t move away, he just continues moving his fingers and hands over my hair and back, soothing me. And damn does it feel good.
I try to get a handle on myself and take in a deep breath, breathing in his scent.Oh hell, he even smells amazing.I take in another cleansing breath and sigh as more weight is lifted off of my shoulders. I’m safe. I’m not alone anymore. It’ll be ok.
I push myself upright and wipe my hand over my face, attempting to clear the evidence of my fit and take a moment to look up again at the second of my heroes.
“Sorry. It's just... it’s been a while.” I exhale and force a smile. My fingers lift to my hair to try and tame the rat's nest that has no doubt taken residence on my head.
“Yea, I bet. We haven’t seen anyone in a few weeks and they were just passing through. But, even still, we’ve had each other this whole time. I can’t even imagine how it’s been for you... being on your own.” He takes my hand in his and gently squeezes, reassuring me to his presence.
I huff and look away, “Well, it hasn’t been the picnic I was expecting to have this summer...that’s for sure.”
“How long has it been?” I can feel his thumb circling on the back of my hand now and can barely take my attention away from it. Licking my lips, I turn back to him. “Months...”
His mouth opens and furrows his brows. “You’ve been on your own, without talking or even seeing anyone else... for months?”
I purse my lips to the side and nod a couple of times. “Yup. Just been wandering from town to town once I've gone through the supplies that have been left behind at the stores.I figured, eventually, I would see someone... anyone... but...” I shake my head. Memories return of walking around the villages and towns and cities and there literally being nothing. No people, well at least no one alive, no cars, no daily commute, no celebrations...no sounds...no movement...nothing...
I look up into his eyes again as my lower lip starts to tremble and my voice cracks. “There were days, when I thought I was really losing it. When I swore I was already dead and didn’t fully realize it. Doomed to wander the empty earth like I was a prisoner in purgatory or something, waiting for someone to enact judgement or whatever it is that’s supposed to happen next. Sometimes, I would come across a horde and reality would filter in that I still had a pulse, but for the most part, there was nothing. Just emptiness... and me.”
He lifts his free hand and cradles my cheek and chin, rubbing his thumb across my quivering lip. He takes in my words, really takes them in, feeling their weight, understanding my struggle, before speaking in soft tones just for me. “Not anymore if I have anything to say about it. You are incredible. Not just anyone would’ve been able to survive that. You did. You’re remarkable and I’m so happy you’re here now... with us.”
His oceanic eyes pierce mine and my breathing starts to pick up under his unwavering stare. This man is beautiful and I’m under his spell. What the fuck am I doing? I’ve just met this man.
Yea, but he saved your ass...He’s your modern-day superhero.
“It’s been so long...”
“I know, sweetheart...” Hawk says.
Ah, fiddlesticks did he hear that???
He’s still staring at me. The hand that was cradling mychin starts to travel to the back of my head down to my neck as he shifts a little closer.
Oh snap...is this?... is he? ...I’m so for this right now...
I’m poised and ready. His gaze travels to my mouth and my tongue darts out to lick my lip on instinct before he starts to move in...
The door to the room suddenly swings open to reveal the guy from earlier... Cole. They share a glance at each other as Hawk quickly resituates himself out of our embrace, brushing down his clothes and coughing awkwardly as he returns to the chair from earlier. A question shows in Cole’s eyes that doesn’t get answered as Hawk speaks.
“Hey, man, she’s awake!” He throws his arms out in a Ta-Da gesture, wearing the most obscenely, overly dramatic smile ever, as I coyly give a little wave.
“I can see that. How are you feeling, Alessandra?” He comes to sit on the bed where Hawk just vacated.
“Good. I think...” Just then my stomach lets out the loudest growl in the history of gastric sounds, overtaking the conversation. My eyes bug out at the sound and I silently hope no one heard it so that I don’t have to dig a hole and bury myself to avoid any further embarrassment.
Cole swings his head towards Hawk with daggers practically flying out of his eyes. “You didn’t give her the stew?!”
“Ah, shit. Sorry, Doc. Got side tracked. Here, I'll go get her a fresh bowl.”
I didn't think it was possible but my eyes bug out of their sockets even more. Doc... did he hear my dream? Oh shit, was I talking out loud again?
Cole looks to me, shaking his head in frustration and huffing out an agitated breath, “Sorry about that. Would youlike to come downstairs and eat? That is, if you’re feeling up to it? We can show you some of the place on the way? We also have some fresh apples if you’d like?
