Page 16 of The Sicilian's Obsession
Katima
He kissed me. Arturo put his lips on mine and kissed me. I had never been kissed before, and I was almost certain kisses like that don't come around every day. Arturo kissed me like he was a drowning man and I was the water that could quench his thirst. He wasn't gentle. I loved that. He treated me like the woman I was, not some frail, broken child. It hurt me to hear him say it was a mistake. I wanted him to wrap his big hands around my body and draw me closer to him. He smelled so good. I think it's a law for attractive men to just smell yummy. His kiss showed me everything that could be between us. Then he shut it down right after. My heart ached. I wanted to climb his body like a tree, but apparently, we weren't on the same page. Sighing, I tried to pull my thoughts away from him. It would do neither of us any good if I kept obsessing about it. That would only lead me down a dark, spiraling path. He doesn't want me. He already told me that. I have other problems I need to focus on, like dealing with Rebecca. I tried my dad again and only got his voicemail. I was starting to get worried. He always picked up his phone for me. What could be so pressing that he couldn't answer? I was going to have to deal with Rebecca on my own. The thought didn't make me feel good at all. In fact, I would rather eat a bowl of nails.
Arturo came back inside, acting odd. He wanted a Ziplock bag for a cigarette. I didn't think he smoked. I never saw him with one before. Not that we knew each other very well, but I had a keen sense of smell. I thought I would have been able to smell something like that.
I murmured, "Where did you get that?"
He ignored my questions, holding his phone in one hand and the butt in another. I felt alarm rising in me. If it wasn't Arturo's, then whose was it? He hadn't been gone very long. So, I could deduce that he had found it on the property. Neither my father nor I smoked, which meant there had been an intruder on the property. I gasped, once I figured it out. Someone had been here. Someone who didn't belong.
"A-am I-I in danger?" I was slowly backing away from Arturo and the blasted cigarette butt, the physical reminder that someone was out there who was probably watching me. I couldn't fathom what they wanted with me. I was a scientist, sure, but I worked at a candy factory. There was no one in the world less threatening than me, except maybe a baby. Even toddlers were scarier than I was. Who would want to watch me?
Arturo snapped, "Of course, you're in danger. Why do you think I'm here, princess?"
We were back to him sneering when he said princess then. All right then. I kept backing away slowly, like Arturo was a feral dog about to attack. He looked at my face and stopped his glowering. Maybe he realized it wasn't my fault that someone was trying to mess with me. I mean, I hadn't done anything to piss anyone off. I kept to myself, did my work and then came home. If anyone had a problem with me, they were probably delusional.
He apologized, "I didn't mean that. I just don't have all the information, and that makes me… cranky." I think he wanted to use a different word judging by the break before that, but I didn't push. It wasn't my place. Instead of acknowledging his apology, I turned heel and ran to my room. It was easier this way. I was always alone, and I was always going to be alone.
Back in my room, I allowed myself to spiral. The negative thoughts ate me up inside.
Someone was stalking me.
They always leave.
I'm not good enough.
No one will ever love me.
Even my father doesn't want me.
I'm worthless.
I have too many problems.
The list went on and on. There was no way out when it was my mind acting against me. I curled up in a pile of my laundry on the floor next to my bed. I knew I should clean, but I couldn't find the energy to do it. Instead, I gave in to the darkness and wallowed.
That kiss Arturo gave me was a fluke, something anyone could have done. I still felt the butterflies in my stomach just thinking about the moment we had between us. I rolled onto my back and ran my hands down my body. Disappointing, I was flat as a board. Everything on my body was tiny. Who would be attracted to me? But I felt his excitement rubbing along my core as he bore the whole weight of me in his arms. My legs had been spread over each of his bulging arms. I slid my hand into my panties, not really knowing what I was doing. I just knew there was a burning in my gut, and I wanted it to go away. As I spread my lips, I hesitated. What self-respecting twenty-eight-year-old woman had never explored herself? I didn't even know what felt good. I gently ran my fingers up and down, then in a tiny circle, making my hips move. I imagined it was Arturo below, his head between my legs, his tongue lapping at me slowly, passionately. The heat level rose in my room and I groaned when I grazed my clit. My touch was still light, unsure. Arturo's fingers would be confident. He seemed like a man who had experience. Just the thought soured the whole experience for me, and I withdrew my fingers from between my trembling legs. Angry that I hadn't found any kind of relief, I flopped onto my stomach. My phone rang. It was on my dresser and I just wanted to ignore it, but what if it was my dad?
I sprang across the room and answered, "Hello?"
"Hey, pumpkin." His voice brought me a modicum of relief.
"Daddy? Where are you? Why haven't you been answering your phone?" I knew I sounded shrill and panicked.
"I can't disclose that yet, but what's wrong?" I didn't like that he was keeping secrets. Normally, he was incredibly open in what he was doing for the company, but this whole trip seemed like it had nothing to do with the company, more personal. If it was, why would he be hiding the information from me?
"I need your thoughts and help, actually. Rebecca needs to go." I had to be blunt with him and keep my personal feelings out of the conversation. When it came to business things, Dad wanted me to stifle them.
He asked, "What's wrong with her?"
"She's disrespectful and confrontational, in and out of the office. I can't work with someone like that." I didn't want to explain to him how she did that, because he would freak out and try to come after her and her family. Dad was like that.
"I trust your judgment. Give her a severance package and have her escorted off the property in the morning." I could hear voices in the background. "I have to go."
"Okay—" he hung up before I could finish, "Daddy." I looked down at the end call screen in confusion. In all my years, my father had never hung up on me. Nor had he been so secretive. I was starting to worry about him as well. His actions were all wrong. He would never miss a call from me or forward me to his voicemail. Something more was going on, but I didn't know what. Maybe I could ask Arturo in the morning. I was glad this day was over. I was emotionally drained. I collapsed on my bed after grabbing a tee and left my clothes in my wake on the floor. The pile was getting bigger. That was a problem for another day. I drifted off, wondering how in the world I was going to deal with Rebecca first thing in the morning.
The next morning, I was in a terrible mood. Not only had I not slept well, but I still couldn't figure out how to deal with Rebecca. I tried to practice my speech in the mirror, but I just turned, embarrassed, and started to stutter. What if she fought me on it? My anxiety was high. As I walked into the kitchen, Arturo had coffee in our thermoses and muffins on the counter. It was a domestic scene. I wasn't quite sure what to think of it.
He said, "Morning."
