Page 34 of Return of the Darkness
“If you back up towards the wall, there is a ledge below the surface you can sit on,” Nyzaia muttered, yet her voice still carriedauthority. Soren did as she was told and sat, the water rising to her collarbones. Nyzaia positioned herself until her knees were either side of Soren’s temples. Soren crossed her arms and shivered, trying to focus. She hoped the shadows lingering in her mind would not emerge. For once, she felt like herself, though she no longer knew what that meant. A clarity had returned, a clarity she felt during her dreams when gazing at her younger self. Soren shivered again. Those bars had been erected in her mind ever since meeting Caligh, locking her true self away. A light steam drifted off the water’s surface to ease Soren’s shivers, less intense compared to Nyzaia’s earlier fury.
Soren jumped as hands reached for her braids and stilled, waiting for Soren to calm. Gradually, she lowered her shoulders as the quiet voice in her head offered assurances. They liked and trusted Nyzaia. Nyzaia poured warm water over Soren’s head with one hand, while the other shielded it from falling down her face. A moment later, Soren breathed in the scent of oranges as Nyzaia brushed the soap over each braid in turn. Soren gulped andwondered if there was some memory buried deep within of her mother doing the same. When was the last time someone had touched her like this? With care?
“Why did you start braiding your hair?” Nyzaia asked, and Soren frowned. “Focusing on one small memory, like a less traumatic moment, can help you to slowly recall more things.”
“Making it easier to get information from me, then?” Soren whispered. Nyzaia’s hands stilled briefly but then continued washing Soren’s braids.
“So you might differentiate between yourself and his influence,” Nyzaia said, her voice quiet but commanding.
“You said I did everything willingly,” Soren continued. “But in my mind, I am locked behind bars. Now he is gone, I’m trying to escape, but before… before my mind was only him. Is it possible he can control people in different ways?”
Nyzaia hummed. “It would seem so.”
“I was willing at first. I agreed to be in his servitude.”
Nyzaia’s hands froze, and suds trickled over Soren’s shoulders.
“To protect Sadira?” she asked. Soren nodded.
“Always to protect Sadira. That was my job.” Soren’s breathing quickened, and she shifted in her seat. “I failed.” She tugged at the cuffs around her wrists. “I failed. She was at risk by attending that battle. I—did I help lead him here? I don’t think I did; I just did as I was told, but—” Soren gasped for breath, her chest rising quickly again. Nyzaia did not move except to pour more water over Soren’s head to free her chest of suds. She rested her hand on Soren’s shoulder, the touch oddly comforting.
“Why did you start braiding your hair?” Nyzaia asked again, picking up the soap again. Soren forced her eyes shut and focused on the motions of Nyzaia’s hands, moving slowly around her head and alternating between brushing her braids and soaking them with water.Why did I start braiding my hair?Soren inhaled, holding her breath for a moment before releasing it. An image of two identical blondes running through the square in Doltas appeared, donning matching green dresses and curls.
“We looked identical when we were younger,” Soren whispered.
“You and Sadira?”
“Nobody could tell us apart, and when I learned to fight, my hair got in the way. Braids helped differentiate us.”
“Good. Well done.” Nyzaia murmured. Soren’s skin tingled before she shivered under the water running over her braids.
“Why are you being kind to me?” she whispered, prompting Nyzaia to sigh. Soren tilted her head back, looking up at the Queen of Keres. Flecks of gold still blazed in her eyes, although the pool remained at a steady temperature. Soren did not know what to think as Nyzaia paused to scan her face. She lowered Soren’s head and continued washing the braids.
“The other rulers never judged me for who I was before I became queen, though a part of me still is that person. I have tortured, drugged, and killed others. I’ve stolen secrets, used my body forleverage, yet nobody has questioned me on it.” Nyzaia squeezed the remaining suds and water from Soren’s braids. “Farid reminded me that my father chose that life for me. It sounds as though your life was never yours, either.” Slowly, Soren nodded. Finally, someone understood what it was like, but she did not deserve this kindness.
“But I am the reason Kazaar is dead,” Soren whispered. Nyzaia released Soren’s braids and hesitated before pushing herself up from the edge and away from the fallen queen. Boots padded across the tiles as she strode into her chambers.
“There are clothes on my bed. Change and meet me at the door in ten minutes,” Nyzaia called, her voice having adopted its usual sharpness. Finally turning her head, Soren met Seiko’s eyes from where he watched her at the side of the bathing pool. Soren pulled her legs up until her feet rested on the ledge below the water and wrapped her hand arms around them. She was alone again.
Chapter Twenty-One
Elisara
“Are you certain?” Olirah murmured, cupping Jessemiah’s face in time to catch a falling tear with her thumb. Jessmiah nodded and rested her forehead against Olirah’s, her dark hair tumbling forward.
“It is the only way,” she responded, pulling Olirah into an embrace. Olirah winced at the cries outside the tower. Over Jessemiah’s shoulder, she saw the feathered wings of her comrades as they fell to their deaths. A screech sounded again, and the room darkened.
“He is coming for us,” Olirah murmured, pulling back.
“This is the only way to save the state.” Jessemiah smiled, reaching for a dagger resting on the bed beside them. Olirah mimicked her action, picking up a matching dagger with a jewel-encrusted hilt.
“I love you,” Olirah’s voice cracked.
“From my first breath to my last, I was always destined to be yours,” Jessamiah replied, angling her dagger into Olirah’s abdomen, where the matching mark to her own lay beneath her clothing. Olirah did the same and kissed Jessamiah. The women clung to each other in a tearful kiss as they pierced their daggers to the sounds of the dying outside.
Elisara woke up, teary-eyed. Was this now her fate—reliving the pain of others’ deaths? But their pain was nothing compared to losing Kazaar.
Aches settled into Elisara’s bones as she fixed her eyes on the canopy above the bed. For at least two hours, she lay there, replaying the dreams as a distraction. So far, all three focused on the death of loved ones, a punishment from the universe forher failure to avenge Kazaar. She narrowed her eyes on the canopy. Sitara had lost someone too. What if she was planting these dreams somehow as a constant reminder to locate Sonos—to reunite at least one love story?
