Page 63 of Sinful Desires
“Jesus, look at you,” I murmured, more to myself than him. “Bet the Navy liked having a monster like you.” Then I looked up at him. “What if they ordered you to kill someone you love?”
“I don’t love anyone.”
I tilted my head. “Not even once?”
A flicker. Barely there. But it was enough.
His throat bobbed like he’d swallowed something bitter. “No one’s worth the risk,” he said.
My hand slipped away. I turned, facing the pool, the moon catching on the glassy surface.
Maybe he was right. Love was the worst kind of gamble. You got a taste of sweetness, sure, but the burn it left behind was always bigger. Hotter.Hungrier.
I stared at the water, the weight of the champagne pressing behind my eyes.
“You ever think,” I said, softer now, the words dragging out of me, “that maybe some things are worth the risk?”
“Was it worth it when Luke Conrad pissed himself dying on your floor?”
The world tilted. Not fast. Not loud. Just a slow, sick shift in the gut, like my soul took a step back before I did.
Luke.
I could feel LeRoy behind me, still. Waiting. Watching. Like he wanted me to break in front of him. Like he needed to see it. Needed to make me feel the rot he already saw in me.
And I did. Because he wasn’t asking me a question. He was dragging the corpse between us and laying it bare.
And the worst part? I didn’t hate him for it.
A soft sob escaped my lips. “I never loved Luke. We weren’t?…?I wasn’t histype.”
But somehow, I still felt like his killer.
“He’s not the only man I’ve killed,” I whispered. The wind caught my hair, tugging it back from my face. “I was on my second world tour. Years before you started working for me. One of those nights I came back from the show, voice raw, legs aching. I showered and collapsed straight into bed.”
My chest tightened. My eyes closed.
“And then I heard it. A sneeze. Loud. Rightunderme.”
I opened my eyes slowly, my throat thick.
“It wasn’t mine.”
When I turned, LeRoy was right there, so close I nearly walked into his chest. So close I could see the grain of stubble on his jaw.Soclose I could feel the heat off his skin and smell the faint saltiness of the sweat clinging to him. My brain short-circuited.
He looked every bit the soldier, moving with quiet precision. As if he had been trained to vanish, not walk.
My breath caught. Not because I was scared, but because part of me wanted to lean in. Just to see if he’d catch me?…?or let me fall.
My voice dropped, my hands shaking at my sides. “There was a lamp on the nightstand. One of those heavy ones. I grabbed it and jumped off the bed. He was crawling out from underneath, but I didn’t wait. I didn’t ask who he was. I just swung.Hard. The lamp connected with his temple. He folded in on himself, his head thudding against the floor as blood began to pool beneath it.”
My voice barely made it out. It felt like it was being squeezed from my throat. “I stood there for a full minute before I moved. Too scared he’d suddenly wake up. But when I got closer?…?when I saw how much blood was leaking into the carpet, I knew. I knew he wasgone.”
I didn’t know what I expected him to say. But it wasn’t the slow step forward, the brush of his body against mine.
“Bastard deserved it.”
The air in my lungs rushed out sharply. “You don’t get?—”
