Page 227 of Sinful Desires
“I met someone, Dad. A spoiled, bratty little superstar.” A small laugh broke out of me. “She’s exactly what I needed. Keeps me on my toes. Loves me deep, loves me loud.”
Mon étoile filante.
“She saved me, you know?” My voice cracked on the words. “Four years ago, the demons were winning. They were loud, heavy. The guilt was chewing through my spine. I’d wake up choking on water that wasn’t there. You’d be screaming my name, trying to reach for me. And every time, you’d drown again.”
The words sat there, still breathing.
“I was done. I planned everything. Had the gun, had the time, had the silence. I was going to end it.” My eyes drifted to the ceiling. “I’d finished my last shift. Took one last walk around the property. That’s when I saw her. She was in a fountain. Soaked. Crying and laughing. She was letting herself drown. She wanted to die too.”
The two fallen angels begging for death.
“Not only did she save my life that night, she also stole my heart, Dad. Forever.”
I swallowed.
“She talked to you a few months ago.” I glanced at him. “She’s the one who brought me back here. Said I couldn’t keep hiding from you forever.”
I exhaled slowly, like the words were trying to claw their way out. “She even got me back in the water.”
I looked at the floor.
“For fun. Said she wanted me to swim with her.”A bitter scoff ripped through me. “Can you believe that, Dad? I went for aswim. After everything?…?for fun.”
She’d seen every sick, twisted part of me.
My mistakes, my rage, my wrath, my sinful desires.
She’d kissed it anyway.
And somehow that made me want to be a man he could be proud of again.
“I’ll come back soon,Papa.Je te promets.”
But before I could rise from my seat, my hand still pressed firmly against his, my heart stuttered. My lungs locked.
I froze. Couldn’t speak. Couldn’t even fucking cry.
One faint squeeze.
Two.
Three.
Our secret code.
Je t’aime, Théo.
Chapter
Fifty-Four
“Yours is the light by which my spirit’s born:you are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.”
? E.E. Cummings
Scarlett
“Mi dispiace, dolcezza. Please forgive us. Forgive me.”
