Page 137 of Restless Hawke
Tears stream down my cheeks now, and “No. I can’t keep living like this.”
“Like what?”
“A life that isn’t mine.” I bite back a sob, choking on the reality that I haven’t really lived my own life for so long that I forgot how to and what it felt like to really befree.“That doesn’t make me happy.”
Coen lowers the card to his lap, his hand still clutching it tightly. “Whatdoesmake you happy, Allegra? Because I thought we already established you don’t seem to care about anyone or anything.”
Those words slice at my already-bleeding wounds, tearing my open even more, shredding me so painfully that I actually release a frustrated cry. “I care aboutyou! God”—I release a little mirthless laugh—“and for some reason, I care about your big, crazy family. I don’t want to see you all hurt.”
He works his jaw. “A little late for that, isn’t it?”
It definitely is.
I could spend ten lifetimes trying to make up for what I did to him, and another ten thousand trying to make amends for what Satriano has done to them—and continues to.
But I still don’t think it would be enough.
Not for the Hawkes.
Not for Coen.
“I know today can’t make up for everything that happened, for everything that I’ve done, but I have so much to tell you. So much more that needs to be said…”
If he’d only listen…
He reaches out and wraps his fingers around my jaw, holding my gaze steady on his. “I only need to know one thing from you right now, Allegra.”
The intensity of the way he searches my eyes makes my heart stall for a second. “What’s that?”
“Are you done playing games?”
A long, slow breath slips from my lips on a sob, and I nod, swiping at the tears that cloud my vision.
And Coen kisses me before I even realize his intent.
* * *
COEN
I never intendedto go after Allegra.
I never intended to climb into this car with her.
And I certainly never meant to kiss her.
Not after everything she’s done.
The way she lied to me and manipulated me isn’t something that can be so easily forgotten and maybe not ever forgiven.
It’s all I could think about all day as I watched her play.
Card after card.
Hand after hand.
She played anincrediblegame.
Calm.
