Page 97 of Restless Hawke
“Why is that?”
I take another sip of his drink, staring at the amber liquid. “Because I’ve been making bad decisions.”
“Like? Comeclean, Allegra.”
The way the word comes out almost a growl reminds me of the way his voice wavered and dipped as he fucked me within an ounce of sanity.
And I find I can’t lie to him.
“Like thinking I could mess with you…and it wouldn’t mess with me, too.”
The corners of his lips twitch into an almost grin at the admission. “Finally, some honesty.”
“I was honest with you the other night. About everything…”
Need soaks his gaze, matching the throb in my core. We didn’t say much. We didn’t need to. Our bodies. Our touches. They spoke volumes.
“Everything we shared was real, Coen.”
The anger…
The need…
The heat…
The passion…
He fucked me raw, and I would let him do it again and again if he asked because, somehow, I’ve come to actuallylikeCoen Hawke.
Something I never could have anticipated.
And if I had known it was even a possibility, I would have run the other direction as fast as my heels could carry me.
“And what do you want, Allegra? Tell me right here, right now, or this isover.”
I force myself to meet his gaze, even though what I’m about to say is going to be hard for me. Nearly impossible. There’s only one thing I’ve ever wanted. One thing that has always seemed to elude me. “I want to be in control of my own life.”
Those dark brows of his furrow. “You’re not?”
The truth threatens to spill out like a tidal wave.
But it can’t.
At least, not all of it.
“I haven’t been for a long time. I’ve been spiraling, feeling like other people are constantly pulling the strings and leading me in the wrong direction.”
Taking me places, forcing me to do things I don’t want to in the name of loyalty.
“Did I do that, Allegra?”
A smile pulls at my lips. “That remains to be seen. But it certainly wasn’t the direction I thought I’d go. We could beverybad for each other, Coen.”
“Orverygood.”
His response comes so quickly, without any thought. And I want to believe that it’s true, that there’s more to this attraction than just sexual, the heat of being opponents across the felt and lovers in the dark, but I don’t know if I can.
Trust.
