Page 144 of Restless Hawke
It’s the last thing I want to relive.
But they have to knoweverythingif I have any hope of a future with Coen—and right now, that’s all I want.
I breathe through the nausea roiling my stomach and hold Coen’s gaze. “I saw him shoot someone point blank, and he didn’t even flinch.”
“Jesus Christ…” Coen tugs me closer to him, then easily scoops me into his arms to settle me in his lap, apparently not giving a shit that his father and uncles are sitting here with us.
I bury my face against his neck, absorbing his strength and breathing in that scent I’ve become so addicted to.
“I’m so sorry you had to see that.”
“Did he know you saw him?” Luca’s cool, calm voice draws my head back, and I meet his questioning gaze.
“Not then, but eventually, he did because I was a really shitty actress and I wasn’t very good at concealing how uncomfortable I was around him and his men.”
Coen rubs his hand up and down my back. “So, what did he do?”
“He told me everything about his brother, about the way he grew up and how awful their father was. He told me that no matter what I may have seen him do, he would never hurt me. And he never has.” I meet each and every one of their gazes to ensure they’re paying attention. “That’s something I need all of you to know.” My heart clenches tightly as I struggle to say the words when they sound so hollow to these people. “He was a good dad to me. He took care of me. He loved me. He did all the things with me that dads do with their kids. I didn’t really understand how different everything was until much later. He kept me insulated. I never saw that violent side with my own eyes again, but I knew it was there. And the older I got, the more I began to pick up bits and pieces of conversations, information left out on desks and counters…”
It was how I began to understand howvasthis “business” really was.
And I got a taste of what running an empire required.
Hard lines being drawn.
Rules in place.
Consequences for stepping out of line or failing.
It became almost normal for me after so many years surrounded by it.
Gabe’s lips twitch slightly as he looks between Coen and me. “Who taught you how to play poker?”
I can’t stop my grin at his question. “My dad’s head bodyguard. He was quite the shark.”
Coen squeezes me and kisses my neck. “So are you.”
Is that a compliment?
My eyes naturally drift to Luca, who made the comment about swimming with sharks when there was already blood in the water at dinner. But instead of finding that same hard, dark glare he gave me that night, now he looks almost pleased.
Like his distrust was vindicated.
I give him a tight smile.
He nods toward me. “And how did you end up playing against Coen?”
My gut immediately tightens painfully, and I must flinch because Coen tightens his grip on me and feathers his lips over my ear.
“It’s okay. We need to know everything…”
His reassurance helps me try to figure out where to start.
“Well, after I graduated from college without really any idea what I wanted to do, I was kind of drifting. Traveling and partying with people who weren’t really my friends, just leeches who took advantage of the fact that I had a basically unlimited cash flow thanks to Dad and my skills at the tables. It was Dad’s idea that I come work for him.”
Savage clenches his jaw. “Did you want to?”
As a father to a daughter only a handful of years older than me, I can imagine how this looks.
