Page 118 of Crew Princess
“Cross. Please.” She was crying again.
I tried to shake my head. I tried to signal her, because I still couldn’t talk.
White-hot, blind panic was taking me over, and I began to fight again. I needed them off of me. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t—I could only rage in my head, and they weren’t helping me.
“He’s scared.” Taz said it like she was just realizing something. She pushed to her feet. “Get off him. Get off him! He needs to move around. He needs it. I can feel it in him! Get OFF HIM NOW!”
Things began moving.
There was a sudden push down on me, and it was gone, but I still couldn’t move. Not at first.
I had to get my bearings.
Then I jerked upright and gasped for breath. Taz threw her arms around me, her head buried in my shoulder and neck.
“Please,” she murmured. “You gotta calm down. You gotta calm down.”
I moved my head up and down, or tried to.
She was still crying into me, and I lifted my hand. It was all bloodied, but I tried to pat her back. Feeling it, a whole new wave of sobs took her over.
“Babe.”
That was Race. He reached for her, trying to take her away from me, but I looked up with a warning in my eyes.Back off. Back off now.
Seeing it, he nodded and edged back a step. But he didn’t go far.
I could lift my arms now. The feeling had come back, and I wrapped both around her. Feeling the other arm, Taz broke down. She wasn’t trying to soothe me anymore. She was breaking down and cursing.
All my shit started to clear.
This was my sister, and she needed me. I began soothing her, comforting her.
I rested my head on her shoulder as she continued to sob.
“What the hell?” someone wondered.
I knew. I didn’t have to wonder. This was about my family, her family. We’d lost it, and I hadn’t been there for her. Fuck. Shit. Goddamn. I hadn’t been there for my sister.
“Taz, I’m so sorry.”
She curled into herself, forming a ball as her arms slid away from my neck.
I felt Race coming back, and I nodded this time. I looked up and saw a cut on his face, blood running down his cheek. I winced because I knew I’d been the cause of that, but that was for later. He started to bend for her, but paused, waiting for me.
I nodded. “Yeah. She needs you now.”
His arms slid underneath her, and he picked her up, cradling her to his chest. I expected him to take her away, but he didn’t. He just sat down beside me, holding her, and she reached for me.
I took her hand, lacing our fingers, and she seemed to settle a little from the contact.
She had her head resting against his chest now.
“Sorry,” I told him.
He raised a shoulder. “Can’t say I wouldn’t lose it if it were Taz in there.”
True. Still, I should’ve had a better handle on myself.
