Page 117 of Crew Princess
Still
Fucking
Fighting!
My head scraped against the cement. More blood. It was the only thing in my nostrils now, the only thing I could smell.
“Shit,” someone breathed.
“Oh, Cross.” My sister. I recognized her voice. She was crying. “I got him. I got him. Let me…”
They shifted around. The feet blocking my vision moved, and Taz was there, kneeling down to look right at me.
“Cross.” Tears streamed down her face. Snot too. She wasn’t paying any attention. She was pale, so pale.
She was scared.
It started to sink in then.
My sister was scared. For me. Of me.
Because I was acting like a rabid animal.
“Cross,” she said softly, soothing me.
She reached out, slowly, until she had my hand in her grasp. She linked our fingers. And then she began to speak, but she didn’t get it.
I’d never felt this monster in me, but he was here. He was angry. He was threatened. He wasn’t human. That was me now, and I could still think, recognize what was happening, and I was scaring myself. But I needed to know Bren was okay. I couldn’t breathe. She was the only thing that would make him go away.
Taz didn’t know this. I couldn’t tell her because I couldn’t talk.
I had to—
“That’s it, brother,” she said, still soothing.
She took in a breath.
I felt myself doing the same, going with her. Syncing.
“Another.”
Together, we breathed.
In and out. Holding. Exhaling, still slowly.
And after a long while, I started to taste my fear. No one had told me that could happen. It was revolting, and my stomach cramped up in protest.
“Cross,” Taz whispered, squeezing my hand and pressing it to her cheek. “I need you to calm down. I’m scared too, but I need my brother. I need him. Remember when we were little? We’d lay like this, side by side, watching each other until one of us broke and started laughing. Let’s do it again. But let’s calm down. Okay? Just calm. That’s all.”
I couldn’t be calm.
She didn’t get it. No one was getting it.
Bren.
It was all about Bren.
Panic burned my chest, searing me.
