Page 37 of Crew
But then it was Race who said quietly, "None of them know?"
I whirled to him, seeing red, and a second later, I had him backed against a tree, my knife at his throat.
I blinked a few times.
He was saying something...
I couldn't--what was I doing? I wasn't in control, but I didn't retract my knife. It was right there. If I leaned forward into it, it would break his skin.
My eyes locked with his.
He stood still. Calm. Waiting.
I was frozen in place, but then my hand began to twitch.
"What are you talking about?" I demanded.
"Who touched you against your will?"
God.
I shook my head, pulling my knife away from his neck. "You don't have the right to talk to me like that."
His mouth opened. He was going to argue, then he closed it. He nodded. "You're right. I don't. I don't know you."
Finally.
An invisible weight lifted off me.
"I feel like I do, though."
I shook my head, going over to a bench Jordan's dad had built for his mom. It was set to look over the entire lot, with a walking trail leading into the woods behind us. It wasn't the only path. They were all over. I took comfort in knowing I could slip away. I could take one path, then another, and another until I was gone.
"Drake spent the summer with my family, and he and I were inseparable," Race said. "He talked about you. A lot. He told me about Jordan, about Zellman. Alex has always been my cousin, but I've not been that close to him. My dad doesn't get along with Alex and Drake's dad. There's family fighting, so it was nice when Drake stayed with us. I'm an only kid. It was like I had a brother for a summer."
He moved to lean against a tree about ten feet from me--close enough for a private conversation, far enough that I had my own space.
"He never said anything about Cross. Seeing how close you two are, I have to imagine there was a reason."
What? I looked up at him. "What are you implying?"
He shrugged. "Nothing."
I snorted. "You'd suck at poker."
"Drake wouldn't tell me why you guys broke up."
Goddamn. I felt his accusation more than I heard it. He was a stranger. A stranger. He fought with us once. I should rile up. I should...do something, but I was tired. It felt like I had bursts of fight in me. I'd rail against whoever I needed to, whoever was trying to hurt me, push me around, use me, whatever. But then that burst of energy would leave me drained, and the age-old tiredness from life settled back into my bones.
I was starting to ache for some Cross time.
I returned my attention to Race. "If you're accusing me of being a cheating whore, my knife is coming out."
The heat was feigned in my voice. My fight was gone.
He laughed. "You're not then?"
"Drake dumped me. Whatever he said, however he talked about me, I was not some love of his life. When he graduated, he wanted nothing to do with me or his group. He left all of us."
