Page 130 of Crew
He wasn't watching me, but focusing on Jordan right now. The bonfire cast his face into shadows, and I watched them play across his features. His cheekbones and jaw were more pronounced. His face more angular. It gave him a more mysterious aura--and alluring at the same time.
"He loves his dad. He almost worships him."
I looked back to study Jordan. Cross was right. Jordan spoke with pride whenever he talked about his father. He provided for the family. He'd bought their home and helped build the warehouse and so many of the other buildings around their estate.
Cross was right.
"But I don't talk about my dad." I never had, particularly not since he left.
"He might've assumed that's because you were missing him, not the other way around."
Cross' words mixed with the booze and the way Jordan suddenly sat up, laughing at those stupid cat videos--and it all clicked into place.
Cross was right, so fucking right.
"Shit." I sank down in my chair. "I was livid."
"Yeah."
"I wanted to cut him."
"I know."
I'd jumped to conclusions. "I owe him an apology."
"No, you don't."
"Yeah, I do." I looked to Cross. Our eyes met and held before he sat back in his chair, shadow covering the top half of his face again.
"You don't. I don't care if this was a mistake. You don't owe him an apology."
"Cross--"
He shot forward, his eyes flaring again. The bonfire outside and full moon cast him in enough light so I could see how fierce he felt. "You'll owe him. And he'll use that to hurt you."
"We're crew."
"Not in this situation. In this situation, you're you and he's him. His intentions might've been good this time, but we both know there's a power struggle. He was knocked down. He's equal to us now. That won't last. He'll go back up, and we'll let him because he cares more about power than we do. Don't give him leverage. Keep quiet on this." He added softly, "Trust me."
It felt wrong not to own up to my mistake, but I trusted Cross. So I nodded.
"Okay." I sat back in my chair, lifting my beer again.
Cross looked back out at them. "You're my best friend."
My mouth opened, but words didn't come right away. My chest tightened, and it wasn't the flutters in there this time. I was past that. It was straight-up flooding now. I was overloaded by feelings, but there was a thread of confusion too.
Cross didn't speak like this. This wasn't normal. This, like so much else lately, was new.
"In every situation, against every person, it's you. Your first loyalty is to the crew, but mine is to you. It's always been like that." He finally turned to look at me, and my mouth dried.
God. "Why are you saying this?"
My voice was a hoarse whisper. I felt raw.
"Because I can feel it coming. Your first instinct, like just now, will be to own up to something. My first instinct is to protect you, even if you don't want it."
He was warning me against something.
