Page 120 of Crew
I'd known this side of Cross existed. He got the girls, and plenty of them--but being on the receiving end? Whoa.
I wasn't sure I was prepared for what we were apparently going to do, but then I imagined the graze of his lips over mine again, and I knew. The train had already left the station. There was no going back.
Outside, Cross tried to go to his truck, but Jordan wasn't having it.
He flung open the back door to his four-door pickup. "Come on." He jerked his head toward the back. "I switched vehicles so we could do this crew style. You know what I mean."
Which meant we were going all together.
Jordan got in, and Zellman lingered by the passenger door. When we did these trips, he usually sat in the back with either Cross or me. Sometimes I sat up front, but I usually sat in the back with Z. It was a hierarchy thing. Jordan drove because he thought he was the leader. Cross and I were on equal footing, though Cross might've been higher than me, but Zellman was the bottom. I didn't understand who'd made up the hierarchy, but that's how it was except no one cared much about it besides Jordan. However, on trips like this, Z always wanted to sit up front with Jordan.
Both Cross and I knew what he was going to ask as he pointed to the seat with his thumb. "Do you guys mind..."
"No," Cross spoke for us. "Go for it."
A huge smile broke out, and he hopped in, all gangly like.
"You okay with this trip?" Cross asked me before we got in.
I looked back over my shoulder. Channing hadn't come into the kitchen, and neither had Scratch, but I guessed they knew. Jordan said he'd gotten it cleared, and I trusted him. He wouldn't lie about something like that.
Then why did I feel weird? I studied Cross for a moment. This didn't feel like him.
It was... I twisted back around to look at Tuesday Tits.
It hit me like a lightbulb going on--I didn't want to let Channing down. I didn't want to skip out if I really wasn't supposed to go. As soon as I thought it, I started laughing. Relief flooded me, and I patted Cross on the arm.
"I'm good." I moved toward the truck.
"You sure?" Cross went to the door behind Jordan, still watching me round the truck.
I nodded, a stupid and happy smile on my face. Even that felt weird. What the fuck was going on with me? But I felt lighter.
I got inside and closed my eyes as I felt the pickup start forward.
Normal Bren would've ditched without a second thought, but this new Bren, she was starting to care. And that should've worried me. It probably would later, but for now...
I looked at Cross. He'd been watching me, a confused look pulling his eyebrows together.
For now, I was okay.
"Can we talk about the elephant in the room?" Jordan asked.
He leaned forward to turn the music down. Radiohead had been filling the cab for the last hour and a half.
Cross and I shared a look.
"What elephant?" Cross grabbed the back of the seat in front of him and leaned forward. "What are you talking about?"
Jordan looked at us in the rearview mirror, focusing more on Cross. "I have to tell you something, and I'm wondering when's the best time."
Cross released their seat. He shifted a little closer to me, but he remained on his side. I stayed on mine.
My stomach was in knots.
What if we let people know about us and something happened to tear us apart? I didn't know what or how, but it could happen. Hell, just life itself could do it. If I was happy, really happy, I was bound to lose him.
That thought dried my throat.
