Page 26 of The Enemy's Defector
The trip to the shower was agony, but putting this little bit of distance between us was critical.
I couldn’t keep my head in the game when she was in my space like that, teasing me to want a forever with her when nothing seemed safe anymore.
11
KATERINA
The more that Nik recovered, the angrier he became.
For three days, we volleyed in existence at this safehouse. I tried to nurse him back to health. With the bandages and first-aid supplies found here in the house, I managed to keep his injuries clean. No pus spread. No inflammation worsened at the many cuts and scrapes. He wasn’t delusional or confused to make me wonder about a head injury, and none of his bones seemed broken.
While he let me tend to his wounds, he gave me every indication of being furious.
His scowls didn’t lighten up.
The lines in his brow remained slanted with irritation.
No warmth or hint of playful teasing was offered.
Give him time.
Space.
For fuck’s sake, he’s been held captive and beaten for a month.
Anyone would be mad.
Yet, I knew exactly why he was so furious and agitated.
He couldn’t blame anyone for the experience. I couldn’t either. No matter how many times he asked me about Anton’s involvement, I was unable to tell him anything substantial. My uncle never trusted me with intel. He’d only ever expected me to marry and spy. All that I knew was from what I’d overheard and eavesdropped on. Then what I saw from hacking, a skill my uncle didn’t realize I’d perfected when he’d killed my father. Grief did twisted things to people, and with me, I hid within myself and became closed off to the world, seeking comfort in exploring online and seeing what challenges I could put myself to as a distraction from missing my father. I was self-taught, but effective when given a chance.
Nik wasn’t giving me a chance to comfort him any further than helping him with his wounds.
His attitude wore on me after the third day. I didn’t deserve this gruffness from him. No matter how many times I told myself to go easy on him and to let him pace and work through his anger at being captured, I wanted so badly to reconcile this version of him with the man I knew before.
The protective lover who’d made me feel so good. The brave man who’d dared to be intimate with me and cross the line of friendship into something more.
He’d been taken after that night we shared. And it seemed like the sensual passion we’d found and shared together would never happen again.
Although he had told methanks, a paltry little saying of gratitude before he left me to shower, I couldn’t convince myself that he was thankful.
I’d risked my life to save him. Yes, it was one last thing to do to piss off my uncle before I’d run away and start a life away from him.
But Nik didn’t seem to appreciate that I’d come for him.
He didn’t seem to be anywhere near the same page as me, one where I’d be confident that he cared for me.
That he wanted me.
He sat after another long spell of pacing. We’d shared a simple meal together after he’d woken up, still sleeping deeply for long stretches because of his healing process.
“Tell me what Anton said again. About the arrangement.”
I sat, staying on the edge of my seat becauseIwas prompted to pace now. He kept circling back to that damn marriage arrangement. I’d already told him all that I knew. It was as though he didn’t believe me anymore.
“So you told him that you didn’t want to marry one of the Ivanovs. But you never told him why?” He arched his brows.
“He wouldn’t have cared about any reason I gave him.”
